The amazing courage of Scott Walker

Iowa is where the road to the presidency begins in 2016. It also happens to be the state where Wisconsin governor Scott Walker is currently killing it.

A new poll from Quinnipiac has Gov. Scott Walker (R-Wis.) up by a wide margin in the early caucus state of Iowa… Walker leads his closest competitor (Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky) by 12 points — and his net favorability (those who view him favorably versus those who don’t) is a legitimately stunning +50.

He’s the early front-runner. Which means he might eventually become the Republican candidate, so we better pay him some attention. The Governor spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington D.C. today:

…an audience member asked Walker how he would deal with threats like the Islamic State if he were president.

Which is a good question. I myself don’t have any answers to “What to do about ISIS?” I wouldn’t allow a single American soldier anywhere near them, I know that – we’ve done enough dying for the Middle East Good for awhile. But given the historic evil we’re seeing I understand the temptation to call in the Army. I’m certainly curious to hear how the candidate would deal with a mass-murdering death cult. What about it, Scott?

“I want a commander-in-chief who will do everything in their power to ensure that the threat from radical Islamic terrorists do not wash up on American soil. We will have someone who leads and ultimately will send a message not only that we will protect American soil but do not take this upon freedom-loving people anywhere else in the world,” he responded.

Walker would call in a satellite-guided platitude attack. He’d blow ISIS up with improvised banalities. He would never tolerate ‘threats’ landing on our shores, so you can bet he will ‘send a message.’ Tough talk there, Maddog.

I’d be a little more impressed, Scott, if you didn’t sound like Sybil’s whackier brother. “I want a commander-in-chief who will…”…who will what? Talk about himself in the first person? Good luck pal, I don’t think Scott isn’t going to like that (…you can ask Scott). “We will have someone who leads…”…the Capitol loon parade, I suppose? The Bellevue case revue? What about having a leader who talks like the guy from Silence of the Lambs? Now the President of the United States: “Fellow Americans, it talks about Iraq tonight. It sends the 2nd Infantry into Mosul, then it puts some lotion in the basket.” Goodnight, god bless. Could you give us something more along the lines of strategy? Or something less in the first-person abstract?

“We need a leader with that kind of confidence. If I can take on a 100,000 protesters, I can do the same across the world.”

I see now, YOU would like to be commander-in-chief. And since it was YOU who attacked blue collar workers and took away their collective bargaining rights, you think you’re perfect for the job.

What a convincing case you make. Really, how difficult could it be to take on a jihadist army once you’ve stood up to the kindergarten teachers? As if Wisconsin’s janitors were any less dangerous than the religious fanatics who like burn people alive. ISIS controls twenty thousand miles of territory and two billion dollars in oil, banking and infrastructure assets – but you remember all those firefighters? They were organized by LABOR UNIONS. You know, domestic thugs. The kinds of goons you see prowling the sidewalks, all worked up over wages and working conditions. I believe, magister, that you can dismiss the jury – and fire the bailiff – because this case is closed.

He’s the best man for the job. And if any of you tank-driving rocket-firing assholes want a piece of Scott Walker, get ready for another trademark double-fisted helping of…this:

Almost two dozen protesters were arrested and issued $200.05 tickets Wednesday as Capitol Police cracked down on the long-running Solidarity Singalong…

Individuals who began to sing or shout at police were approached by police, asked to leave and arrested if they refused. At one point, a group of senior citizens linked hands and sang “we shall not be moved” before each was arrested.

Damn right. Pack it up, radicals – you’re through.

Share

It’s all over now, Bill O’Reilly

Definitive proof the Fox ‘newsman’ is a Brian-Williams-style liar.

When at first Brian Williams claimed to have been shot down in a helicopter over Iraq, a few people wondered if that were true. Well, it wasn’t. But Brian managed to go on without that fib killing his career. It wasn’t until many years later, after he told the story over and over again, then ultimately recounted it on NBC’s nightly newscast, that the canard did him in.

So a word to the wise: Don’t tell an outrageous lie more than once. It could cost you. Unfortunately this bit of advice comes too late for Williams. He’s gone for now, and someone else has taken his place as news anchor.

As for Bill O’Reilly, he is far above reproach – at least as much as he is above NBC’s liberal anchor. He predictably thought the whole Williams scandal quite unseemly. He commented: Why can’t journalists remember that they’re ultimately responsible to our Founding Fathers?

Reporting the news comes with a big responsibility. The Founding Fathers made that point very clearly. They said to us, we will give you freedom, we will protect you from government intrusion but in return you must be honest…

And why can’t people take their jobs seriously? Why can’t they just tell the truth? You can all rest assured that nobody will ever catch Bill O’Reilly telling lies like Brian Williams.

Here on The Factor we are in our 19th season, an amazing run and we have made some mistakes in the past, but very few. We put together an honest broadcast and we take great pains to present you with information that can be verified.

All Americans who love their country should think about what happened to Brian Williams … to think about other news agencies that are distorting the facts. We all should open that proverbial “Network” window and say, “We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore!”

But. As you probably already know, in the wake of Williams’ suspension Mother Jones has focused its own reporting upon Bill-O. They’ve been looking at his history of telling jaw-dropping stories and seeing whether he’s been telling the truth. And it turns out that O’Reilly is quite a shameless liar. For an overview, see here: The Bill O’Reilly scandal, made simple.

In short, Mother Jones found out that O’Reilly claimed to have reported from a “war zone” while he was only in Buenos Aires, Argentina. This put Bill about 1000 miles short of the military conflict he was ostensibly covering. To counter that assertion of fact, Bill-O has responded with bluster, outrage, threats and bug-eyed sanctimony. Other than typical dudgeon and tantrum, he has yet to offer Mother Jones any relevant facts of his own. Which is pretty damning. That’s not to say folks have been particularly impressed with the O’Reilly expose’. Much of whether he’s a ‘liar’ hangs on how honest he’s expected to be, as well as what the phrase ‘war zone’ constitutes, among other things. It’s perhaps confusing to some.

Well, as of today, the questions about O’Reilly’s lying have been answered. Any previous doubts about his dishonesty are now gone. There’s definitive proof he’s been telling lies as ridiculous as the ones that got Brian Williams fired.

Bill O’Reilly has repeatedly claimed he personally “heard” a shotgun blast that killed a figure in the investigation into President John F. Kennedy’s assassination while reporting for a Dallas television station in 1977.

And he’s told this corker over and over again, the same way Williams told his Iraq howler.

To make a long story shorter, let’s first get through some quick notes on the tale: Who was this assassination figure? His name was George de Mohrenschildt. George was a Russian who in the sixties befriended Lee Harvey Oswald. What happened to him? When the House Select Committee on Assassinations contacted George about testifying on Oswald and the Kennedy assassination, he killed himself. This was at his daughter’s home in Florida in March of 1977. What did O’Reilly claim? That as a reporter for a Dallas TV station, WFAA, Bill was hot on the heels of the mysterious de Mohrenschildt, tracking him to his daughter’s house in Florida. And when O’Reilly knocked on the house’s door, he heard the Russian shoot himself. Bill has made this specific claim again and again:

In his 2012 best-selling non-fiction book Killing Kennedy, O’Reilly writes on page 300 that as a “reporter knocked on the door of de Mohrenschildt’s daughter’s home, he heard the shotgun blast that marked the suicide of the Russian … that reporter’s name is Bill O’Reilly.”

In March of 1977, a young television reporter at WFAA in Dallas began looking in to the Kennedy assassination. As part of his reporting, he sought an interview with the shadowy Russian professor who had befriended the Oswalds upon their arrival in Dallas in 1962. The reporter traced George de Mohrenschildt to Palm Springs, Florida and traveled there to confront him. At the time, de Mohrenschildt had been called to testify before a congressional committee looking in to the events of November, 1963. As the reporter knocked on the door of de Mohrenschildt’s daughter’s home, he heard the shotgun blast that marked the suicide of the Russian, assuring that his relationship with Lee Harvey Oswald would never be fully understood.

By the way, that reporter’s name is Bill O’Reilly.

O’Reilly repeated the tale for the Killing Kennedy audiobook.

He also wrote in Kennedy’s Last Days, the 2013 adaption of Killing Kennedy for younger readers: “As I knocked on the door, I heard a shotgun blast. He had killed himself.”

The Fox News host repeated the tale while promoting his book and movie special on Fox News. During an October 2, 2012, appearance on Fox & Friends, O’Reilly claimed he “was about to knock on the door where [de Mohrenschildt] was, his daughter’s house, and he blew his brains out with a shotgun.” O’Reilly replayed the clip of his 2012 appearance during a November 30, 2014, O’Reilly Factor special before Fox News’ airing of the Killing Kennedy film.

But the whole thing is a lie. Why? And how can we be so sure? Because O’Reilly was in Texas at the time. Nowhere near Florida. And the ironclad evidence for that comes from a Dallas reporter who would be in a position to know.

By the way, that reporter’s name is Bill O’Reilly…

Gaeton Fonzi, as the New York Times wrote in a 2012 obituary, was “one of the most relentless investigators on the House Select Committee on Assassinations” regarding Kennedy’s death. Fonzi’s memoir and personal recordings show that O’Reilly could not have been in Florida at the time of de Mohrenschildt’s death.

As Jefferson Morley noted, Fonzi wrote in his 1993 autobiography that O’Reilly called him to confirm that de Mohrenschildt committed suicide.

About 6:30 that evening I received a call from Bill O’Reilly, a friend who was then a television reporter in Dallas. ‘Funny thing happened,’ he [O'Reilly] said. ‘We just aired a story that come over the wire about a Dutch journalist saying the Assassinations Committee has finally located de Mohrenschildt in South Florida. Now de Mohrenschildt’s attorney, a guy named Pat Russell, he calls and says de Mohrenschildt committed suicide this afternoon. Is that true?’

Now why would Fonzi write that his Dallas buddy had called him to confirm de Mohrenschildt’s suicide when Bill-O had been right there on the doorstep when it happened? Why would an ear-witness to the event fly back to Texas and then call a third party to ask if the suicide claim were true? It’s obvious why. O’Reilly was never there.

Morley also obtained phone conversations between Fonzi and O’Reilly on March 29, 1977, from Fonzi’s widow which the former Post editor says show that O’Reilly “certainly did not hear de Mohrenschildt’s demise with his own ears. When the fatal shot rang out, O’Reilly was in his office at the WFAA studios in Dallas, Texas, more than 1,200 miles away. The confirmation comes from O’Reilly himself.”

Bill O’Reilly inserting himself into Kennedy history doesn’t even make any journalistic sense. He was only a local Dallas TV guy at the time, not an investigative reporter for CBS’ 60 Minutes. Or PBS’ Frontline. Why would his outlet, WFAA, be interested in blowing all that money to send a local reporter to Florida just so he can chase a conspiracy theory? And I have no doubt, if he’d actually heard de Mohrenschildt’s shotgun blast, that law-and-order O’Reilly would have immediately called the cops himself. He’d surely have then followed up the 9-1-1 call with some live on-scene coverage, Fox-style (…speaking to the camera crew that the station never sent with him, of course…) recounting the Kennedy conspirator’s dramatic suicide – a desperate last attempt to dodge the questioning of WFAA’s bulldog reporter. But O’Reilly was never in the police report:

The Associated Press’ March 30, 1977, report about de Mohrenschildt’s suicide quoted Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Lt. Richard Sheets stating of the death: “At the time of the shooting, he was alone in the house except for two maids who said they did not hear the shot.” The AP report, obtained via the Nexis database, makes no mention of O’Reilly’s alleged presence outside the home.

As if it ever could have been possible. The idea is laughable, and the truth revealed to no one’s shock or surprise. Bill O’Reilly has always been a tawdry fabulist, agent of rank bullshit, and stone-faced liar. But I don’t hold any hope that his bosses will be concerned by the revelations. As Rupert Murdoch’s conception of ‘truth’ runs to propaganda, they’ll be hard-pressed to find any reason to fire him. And so he’ll go on plying his viewers with more of his Reporter Man tales – though I’d like to think he’d be met with some sensible hooting and derision from now on. Maybe then the idea of O’Reilly as an honest man will become a Brian-Williams style joke outside the realm of Fox News, Inc.

Share

Where I am moved to call someone buttface

A particularly beneficent blogger at American Thinker offers us all a choice. How nice of him, really. I do like choices.

Would you allow yourself to be groped to fight global warming?
By Pedro Gonzales

It’s an easy choice–let yourself be repeatedly sexually groped by a pervert, or accept the consequences of global warming. Which would you choose?

…those two options weren’t really on my radar tonight, Saturday evening. I was thinking more like ‘ale’ or ‘pilsner’, which are frankly both to my tastes. Anyway, how did we get here? And why is it I either take a thumb up the ass, or fry like Bill Buckley’s balls in Lucifer’s cupped embrace?

More than one in five Metro passengers were subjected to unwanted sexual advances or behavior while riding Metro trains and buses in Los Angeles County during the first half of 2014, according to a new survey.

Tee-hee, caution. Laaaaffffs ahead!

I so admire the liberals who do their duty every day, squeezing into those tightly filled buses like sardines in a can, letting themselves be leered at and squeezed and touched, all so the rest of us can live in a better environment.

This is what makes for comedy over there. The rancid sneer. Derision ha ha, whoopee. But there’s also…fucking brilliance, see?

Listen closely: if you have too many cars, and too few highways… create more highways! Check out the map below. The city should use eminent domain to take the land, and turn it over to private developers who will pay to build it in return for charging tolls on the new roads.

And this genius slapdashes 10 freeways across the map of L.A., all of them ending in downtown (which is the secret place all Angelenos want to go). This would only wipe out a few thousand homes, and the city’s budget for the next millennium or so, as well as pave over Hancock Park, Encino, and Griffith Park. And after the 50 or so years of lawsuits and wholesale demolition it would take, not to mention the rioting and homelessness, the city would hand all that real estate over to private contractors. Just so we could pay them tolls, to drive over our former homes. This is clearly a cracking idea, Grommit. And not at all the prospective work of a sociopath…

But since my suggestions will be ignored and nothing will be done, I salute liberals who continue to let themselves be fondled as part of their civic duty

…and by that I mean: fuck you, buttface.

Share

The jokes…they tell themselves.

The truth is controversial. None more so than when cadging a column from the New York Post.

So Brian Williams goes out (for six months) humiliated and derided. Jon Stewart goes out (permanently, one hopes) the same day, but on a giant Comedy Homecoming King float, with a 21-gun salute from the media, his path strewn with roses and teardrops.

Why? Brian Williams lied about his personal exploits a few times. Jon Stewart was unabashedly and habitually dishonest.

Maybe it slipped your notice, but media watchers like Kyle here have cringed at Jon Stewart’s telecasts for years. On a nightly basis he’d say all sorts of crap that wasn’t true.

Though Stewart has often claimed he does a “fake news show,” “The Daily Show” isn’t that. It’s a real news show punctuated with puns, jokes, asides and the occasional moment of staged sanctimony.

Except for when it regularly went off the air a couple weeks at a time, or longer, and though it never bothered with the day’s events, preferring to dish on politics by way of puns, jokes, asides and ham-handed sanctimony, The Daily Show was really the news. And God bless Rush Limbaugh, who is really the Library of Congress.

Most other journalists aren’t allowed to swear or to slam powerful figures (lest they be denied chances to interview them in future). Their editors make them tone down their opinions and cloak them behind weasel words like “critics say”… Yet Stewart uses his funnyman status as a license to dispense with even the most minimal journalistic standards.

It’s not often a piece ostensibly sorting the realities of modern media runs headlong down a rational dead-end. “[S]tewart uses his funnyman status as a license to dispense with even the most minimal journalistic standards.” Likewise, Andrew Dice Clay uses his funnyman status to dispense with Mother Goose’s most minimal narrative standards. You see the problem.

Get both sides of the story? Hey, I’m just a comedian, man. Try to be responsible about what the real issues are? Dude, that’s too heavy, we just want to set up the next d- -k joke.

Damn right here come the dick jokes Kyle. Those alone should have set you, or at least a sane person, straight. By the way just when were you convinced you had any grasp of comedy? Why do you wingnuts even pretend? Does it have the slightest to do with high-profile embarrassment?

Moore introduced House Bill 365, that would “expand indecent exposure law to include any nipple exposure, including men’s, and any garment that ‘gives the appearance or simulates’ a person’s buttocks, genitals, pelvic area or female nipple,” according to an Associated Press story that appeared in the Billings Gazette…

“Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway,” Moore said after the hearing.

That’s Moore’s Montana House Bill 365. It’s still currently set to be the law of the land now rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. But now that Moore’s been widely ridiculed…

…the Republican says it was just one big joke.

Right, surely. The legislature is a comedy club. And down in South Carolina, state senator Tom Corbin addressed his colleague, the only female state senator, Katrina Shealy at a bigwig’s dinner.

…Corbin made a pair of comments…starting with the bizarre remark, “I see it only took me two years to get you wearing shoes.”

Apparently, this was another reference to Corbin’s view that the proper place for women is “barefoot and pregnant”…

Corbin replied with what he later characterized as a “joke.”

She asked Corbin why she, apart from all the other senators, should remain barefoot and pregnant. And that’s when the ‘jokes’ just got funnier:

“Well, you know God created man first,” Corbin told his colleague. “Then he took the rib out of man to make woman. And you know, a rib is a lesser cut of meat.”

Corbin later told a local TV station that he meant no offense.

“We were all joking and laughing,” said Corbin.

Everybody was joking and laughing – except for the target of his ‘ribbing’, who was a humorless bitch. It’s always the liberals who have take everything in life SO seriously.

Share

Writes about science. But he’s Jonah Goldberg.

Apparently the wingers have themselves something of a Golden Boy in Wisconsin governor Scott Walker. He’s their current presidential dream date, what with his union-busting, and indictment-dodging and the early polls turning his way. I assume that’s why Jonah Goldberg is telling us that his ducking an easy question on EVOLUTION is not particularly important. The issue is something of a red coelacanth, frankly.

But it was also a bad question, even though it’s a favorite among liberal journalists in the U.S., and apparently across the pond, too.

…It’s a pretty stupid issue to get worked up about when considering a presidential candidate. The number of public policies that hinge on whether you believe in evolution — or which theory of evolution you subscribe to — are few to none.

Jonah shows no interest in ‘reality’ I see. Nor is he aware that evolution, unlike some Frito-Lay products, does not come in Flamin’ Hot and Chili Cheeze flavors. So why the hell should a candidate care? Just because a certain thing can explain the existence and diversity of 3.6 billion years of life on Earth is hardly a reason to take note of it. What – do you look up the definition for OXYGEN everyday, or something?

That’s because the evolution question really isn’t about evolution at all. On the surface, it’s about the culture war. To borrow a phrase from the campus left, Darwinism is used to “otherize” certain people of traditional faith — and the politicians who want their vote.

I would say it’s certainly part of the culture war on the right. But it’s not that way for us. We simply would like to know if you know what the fuck is going on. We’re quite interested to see if you’re the sort of person who gives a damn about this world. Because we’ve surely had enough of the rugged individuals who keep burying their heads in The Bible whenever reality comes calling:

Dr. C. Everett Koop, Reagan’s surgeon general, has said that because of “intradepartmental politics” he was cut out of all AIDS discussions for the first five years of the Reagan administration. The reason, he explained, was “because transmission of AIDS was understood to be primarily in the homosexual population and in those who abused intravenous drugs.” The president’s advisers, Koop said, “took the stand, ‘They are only getting what they justly deserve.’”

By the second Reagan administration any sane person could see it was time to hit the panic button. But how did Ronnie and his pals respond to the epidemic? By doling out political handjobs and steely public righteousness:

A significant source of Reagan’s support came from the newly identified religious right and the Moral Majority, a political-action group founded by the Rev. Jerry Falwell. AIDS became the tool, and gay men the target, for the politics of fear, hate and discrimination. Falwell said “AIDS is the wrath of God upon homosexuals.” Reagan’s communications director Pat Buchanan argued that AIDS is “nature’s revenge on gay men.”

With each passing month, death and suffering increased at a frightening rate…

For all their praying that the epidemic – or homosexuality – would go away, it did not. Thousands died and millions ended up infected. So don’t bother asking me not to “otherize” Christians with questions about reality. Science happens to line up fairly close with Facts. In fact, that’s its job.

As for Goldberg, he’d have you know that liberals are no better on the general subject:

As my National Review colleague Kevin Williamson notes, “Everybody wants to know what Scott Walker and Sarah Palin think about evolution, but almost nobody is asking what Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama think about homeopathy, acupuncture, aromatherapy and the like.” Even though such remedies have been given elevated legitimacy under the Affordable Care Act.

Yes of course. Insisting that the Earth is five thousand years old is as stupid as burning candles.

Many of the same people who bleat with fear over the dangers of genetically modified food, fracking, vaccines or nuclear power and coo with childlike awe over the benefits of non-traditional medicines will nonetheless tell you they are for “science” when in fact they are simply against a certain kind of Christian having any say about anything.

Though scientists have all sorts of reservations about genetically modified food, nuclear power and fracking, it’s hypocritical for liberals to feel the same way. Beyond being two-faced, those people are “simply against a certain kind of Christian having any say about anything.” Strictly for argument’s sake, let’s assume that Jonah’s final dagger there could be honed with a Nyah-Nyah, or some Pbbbt.

Share

Forty is the new curmudgeon

In utterly inconsequential news…

Former Saturday Night Live cast member and Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo star Rob Schneider left an angry message on a California lawmaker’s voice mail this week saying that he would do everything in his power to unseat her in the next election.

They say you dance with the devil when you’ve got Rob Schneider on the phone.

Gonzalez said on Facebook earlier this week, “(W)e received a phone call from Rob Schneider today where he threatened my staff that he would spend a lot of money against me because of my co-authorship of a bill to increase vaccine rates.”

Poking needles into the defenseless flesh of children is a crime against humanity, as much so as any feature film in which Rob Schneider plays a part.

She continued, “…that is 20 mins of my life I’ll never get back arguing that vaccines don’t cause autism with Deuce Bigalow, male gigolo.”

Think of that Saturday Night Live cast from around 1990. And then wonder: Where did it all go wrong? Was it something in the cocaine? There’s Schneider of course, but then there’s Dennis Miller.

Yesterday recalcitrant old man Dick Cheney went on Dennis Miller’s radio show, which evidently exists. Miller, in a fit of giggles, thanks Cheney for “almost kicking Patrick Leahy’s ass. I love that move.” It’s “one of my favorite stories,” he gushed, referring to a 2004 incident in which Cheney yelled at Senator Leahy (D-VT) for the latter’s “criticism of the vice president for Halliburton’s alleged war profiteering,” according to CNN.

And Jon Lovitz.

SNL alum on Obama: ‘What a f**king asshole’

…“First they say … ‘You can do anything you want. Go for it.’ So then you go for it, and then you make it, and everyone’s like, ‘Fuck you,’” Lovitz said. “[Obama] is the perfect example. He’s amazing. He had nothing … and the guy ends up being at Harvard. He’s the president of the United States. And now he’s like, ‘Fuck me and everybody who made it like me.’”

And then Victoria Jackson, who ended up a far cry from the sophisticate she portrayed so convincingly in those skits.

“He released terrorists from Gitmo, that our sons and daughters died to capture. Am I dreaming? His Cabinet is made up of Muslim Brotherhood people…”

So we wish you all well, Saturday Night Live. Happy fortieth birthday assholes. Fox News has itself one helluva high-profile farm team.

ADD: I forgot…

And best of all, Adam Sandler is a registered Republican who has made numerous donations to Republican candidates. In 2008 he donated $2100 to New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s 2008 failed Republican Presidential primary campaign.

In 2004 Sandler proved his Hollywood Republican credentials by performing at the Republican National Convention in New York.

That’s about half of the cast. Who’s left, David Spade?

Share

A Medieval holy war, Mr. President? You’re soaking in it.

Once again the troller-in-chief has dropped a bit of wisdom on his enemies. You can all rest assured that it will be quite some time before they can manage to stop tearing their hair out, tossing dirt on their heads and rending all their garments. You have to admit, the president’s gotten pretty good at this game.

At the National Prayer Breakfast last week, conservatives accused President Barack Obama of comparing Christianity to the Islamic terrorist group ISIS when he observed that many religions had been used to justify violence throughout history.

“So we’re responsible for the Crusades a thousand years ago?” [Tucker] Carlson complained. “Who’s ‘us’ anyway? And by the way, who ended slavery and Jim Crow? Christians. The Rev. Martin Luther King. Christians.”

“Christianity is the reason we don’t have slavery in the world today,” he added.

Christianity is the most popular religion in this planet’s history, yet there are more people toiling in slavery today than ever before. Weirdly, Tucker Carlson is somehow wrong again. Fox News:

The President may be correct, and he may have made some great points, but the folks at Fox News see this as yet another Obama attack on Christianity. In fact, according to host Eric Bolling, Christians are entirely innocent of any wrongdoing…

“Reports say radical Muslim jihadists killed thousands of people in the past few months alone. And yet when you take Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, whatever, their combined killings in the name of religion––well, that would be zero.”

Here’s a bit of trivia for you: Israel has no constitution. Why is that? Well, how do you square a “Jewish State” with the “separation of church and state”? You’d have to dispense with any equivalent to our establishment clause, followed by the first amendment, and then you’d have to go through the wrenching process of spelling out what role religion should play in the government. Then you’d have yourself a big political problem, attended likely by some left vs. right-wing rioting in the streets, or even a civil war. What I’m saying is that Israel recognizes that whatever it does, it does in part to “defend Judaism.” Because of that, it’s not interested in sacrificing national cohesion for the sake of having a proper constitution. And given what Israel does on a day-to-day basis, I think we can dispatch with Bolling’s argument.

But of all the responses to Obama’s reasonable historical point-making, here’s the weirdest one, from “national security and terrorism correspondent for PJMedia” Patrick Poole:

Controversy still swirls around Obama’s comments during the National Prayer Breakfast this week, where he chastised Christians for getting on their “high horse” over the ongoing global jihad, invoking medieval abuses that occurred hundreds of years ago during the Crusades and Inquisition.

But perhaps it is Obama who should avoid getting on his high horse, since according to recently published statistics, Obama’s drone campaign has killed more people during the six years of his presidency than were killed the 350 years of the Spanish Inquisition.

What a non-sequitur. Friends, some of us are outraged by what the Taliban or ISIS will do to infidels (to the Yazidis for example), but let’s remember what our Christianist forebears were doing to Muslims, and Jews, during the Crusades. Poole’s counter argument to that is pointing out the death toll in our foreign policy? Highlighting the drone war against overseas terrorists, which he himself supports?

Bizarre. Then again, maybe not inexplicable. You look at the writings of this Poole guy and you see a man who is obsessed with The Muslims. Obsessed with their hopelessly evil lives and reflexively terrorist ways.

The Islamic Society of North America (ISNA), which bills itself as “the largest Islamic umbrella organization in North America,” is meeting in Washington, D.C., this weekend for its annual conference. One former ISNA speaker won’t be in attendance this year — al-Qaeda cleric Anwar al-Awlaki was killed in a CIA drone strike in Yemen on September 30, 2011.

On September 1, 2001, just days before the 9/11 attacks, Awlaki gave an infamous lecture on “tolerance” at the 2001 ISNA convention, just as some of his disciples were preparing to launch the largest terrorist attack in American history.

And:

In 2011, terrorism expert Patrick Poole took it one step further. “The Muslim Students Association has been a virtual terror factory,” Poole contended. “Time after time after time again, we see these terrorists – and not just fringe members: these are MSA leaders, MSA presidents, MSA national presidents – who’ve been implicated, charged and convicted in terrorist plots.”

They include al Qaeda cleric and Colorado State University student Anwar al-Awlaki, who was killed in a drone strike following his orchestration of the Fort Hood massacre and other plots…

Poole can find tendrils from the multi-headed international terrorist hydra that go right back to American Muslim groups like the Muslim Student Association and the Islamic Society of North America. And these associations are with Muslims so dangerous…we had to execute them with drones! But then the president mentions the Crusades, and out he crawls:

So Barack Obama has killed at least 2,500 in drone strikes during the six years of his presidency, not including those killed in Iraq or Afghanistan. The Spanish Inquisition reportedly killed 2,250 over 350 years.

So it’s all hypocrisy. I mean, the Spanish Inquisition would kill you for taking the Lord’s name in vain? Obama will kill you for trying to blow up American civilians! Touché, sir.

It’s all quite nonsensical…until it isn’t. Credit Twitter for the solving of this mystery. Poole doesn’t twit much himself, but he sure loves to re-tweet something when it catches his fancy:

Patrick believes that the Crusades were all ‘just wars.’ The slaughter of hundreds of thousands of people at the hands of marauding Christians was all quite in keeping with decent and civilized behavior. By way of First Things, here’s why:

But the Crusades…were holy wars, and that is what made them different from what came before. They were made holy not by their target but by the Crusaders’ sacrifice… Crusaders who undertook that burden with right intention and after confessing their sins would receive a plenary indulgence. The indulgence was a recognition that they undertook these sacrifices for Christ, who was crucified again in the tribulations of his people.

And the sacrifices were extraordinary.

You like that? And you thought today’s Christians had learned to avoid foisting this sort of holy bullshit. But you were wrong.

In each case, the faithful went to war to defend Christians, to punish the attackers, and to right terrible wrongs. As Riley-Smith has written elsewhere, crusading was seen as an act of love—specifically the love of God and the love of neighbor. By pushing back Muslim aggression and restoring Eastern Christianity, the Crusaders were—at great peril to themselves—imitating the Good Samaritan. Or, as Innocent II told the Knights Templar, “You carry out in deeds the words of the gospel, ‘Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.’”

Now it all makes sense right? This Global War on Terror is only their latest act of Christian love, and Barack Obama is their lay-commander-in-chief. Folks like Poole don’t mind at all that the president’s foreign policy has killed so many Muslims overseas, innocent civilians most damningly because, if you didn’t yet know, this is the Great Post-Modern Crusade. The newest and most epic battle between good and evil. They only dislike his unwillingness to admit that a holy war is what he, and the rest of us, are really waging. Which is certainly cause to point out his cowardice – not to mention hypocrisy.

For comparative purposes, I would note, as I reported here at PJ Media last month, that Boko Haram reportedly killed 2,000 over several days in a massacre in Northern Nigeria.

Be careful of the fall off that high horse, Mr. President…

Of course if he’d ever gotten off his holy steed, and somebody like Anwar al-Awlaki had somehow managed to kill someone, the yelling and garment-rending would increase by a hundred-fold. And suddenly the president would be seen mounted upon an entirely different kind of horse, and carrying an APPEASEMENT coat of arms.

Share

A crazy little thing called crud

Here comes one Rand Paul, who is quite a big deal. Depending on which poll you choose he’s either the early Republican presidential frontrunner or a top tier candidate. So it really should be of some interest to us when he gets around to speaking his considerable mind. After all he could become, with some luck, and ‘bad’ happens to count for some, the next Most Powerful Man On The Planet.

And so I had my (children’s vaccines) staggered over several months. I have heard of many tragic cases of walking, talking normal children who wound up with profound mental disorders after vaccines. I’m not arguing vaccines are a bad idea. I think they are a good thing, but I think the parent should have some input. The state doesn’t own your children.

As these events, where one child after another is struck down by something like infectious retardation after getting a shot, did neither fairly nor remotely happen this is a troubling statement. The senator remains somehow unaware of all the children who ended up getting the not-measles after receiving proper vaccinations. Apparently Rand Paul’s life is either being played out inside a horror film or he is sadly himself suffering a profound mental disorder. Whatever the case Rand would not likely make a good president. Given the chance, and enough votes, he could, in some understandable but ultimately misguided attempt to thwart the Sheepshead Zombies, blow up our world. Count me out.

Meantime do take note:

Melanie’s Marvelous Measles is available on Amazon, and sets out to persuade 4-10-year-old children that the measles is actually pretty fun, has no serious possible side-effects, and is something kids should look forward to getting.

Fun fact. Bubonic Plague is Your Pal!

The book includes such inspired medical advice as:

· measles is easily avoided by drinking melon juice
· vaccines weaken the human immune system,
· getting measles strengthens it (as does melon juice).

And just how many Republicans think that vaccines lead to autism? Twenty-six percent of their half of America, meaning many millions. But more importantly, what in the world does Glenn Beck think?

“Is it possible we have been lied to about the measles, this outbreak, and that we are now being told all kinds of things for one purpose, for the herd mentality to get us all to grab out children and obey the government?,” Beck asks…

Meanwhile, Beck, who claims to be “pro-family” and “pro-life,” last year stood up and applauded parents who refused to vaccinate their kids.

And earlier this week, Beck pointed to the thoroughly debunked claim of a link between vaccines and autism, and insisted anti-vaxxers – parents who refuse to vaccinate their children – are being persecuted, like the Catholic Church persecuted Galileo.

Funny that. Why it is we still remember this science-fellow is no mystery, for reasons that currently (and will likely eternally) elude these cruds. Namely that in his battle with the August and Magisterial Church, it was Galileo who proved to be the sane one. You see the hitch.

Share

Crash and burn, Brian Williams

It’s comes to me as no surprise that Brian Williams is quite full of it.

The story actually started with a terrible moment a dozen years back during the invasion of Iraq when the helicopter we were traveling in was forced down after being hit by an RPG. Our traveling NBC News team was rescued, surrounded and kept alive by an armor mechanized platoon from the U.S. Army 3rd Infantry.

He’s always come off as a smarmy lightweight, quick to have you ooh and aah before him for his a.) being from working class New Jersey, which is embarrassing and b.) working as a teenage volunteer firefighter, which would be a little more impressive if I’d ever thought for a minute any of this was remotely true:

I remember one such house fire — the structure was fully involved with flames and smoke. I was wearing a breathing apparatus, conducting a search on my hands and knees, when I felt something warm, squishy and furry on the floor of a closet. I instinctively tucked it in my coat. When I got outside, I saw two small eyes staring up at me, and I returned the 3-week-old (and very scared) puppy to its grateful owners.

OH I have no idea what this furry thing is but I’ll just shove it in my pocket. And I’ll crawl my way from out of the conflagration, just to look down now and see…two beady eyes? WHY A CUTE LITTLE PUPPY I NEVER! What are the odds? Surprising how these things can happen. And that’s all for this edition of doin’ the Old Soft Shoe up my own ass, I’m Brian Williams.

As you can see there appear to be two eternal truths when considering the life and times of our senior Fire Marshal. He has always felt the need to lie, and he has always been terrible at it.

Which makes these video clips even funnier today. They’re a series of glossy promotional ads, with aural gravitas lent them by Michael Douglas, that NBC shot for the tenth anniversary of the ascendancy of Crash & Burn B-Dub to their nightly news anchor chair. And just how did they portray their gutty hero? Well see for yourself, look at the titles: ‘Experience’, ‘What Matters’, and ‘Battle Scars’ (hup, hold your tongues). I’m sure you would agree, friends, that whenever we think about Him it’d be those specific things – stop giggling dammit – that are all essential to making Brian… BRIAN.

It’s a thing that you build slowly over time. It can happen during big moments. More often its the day to day things. And what you build, if you work hard enough, if you respect it, is a powerful thing…called ‘Trust.’

That’s right. If you only work hard enough. And if you respect it, the way Brian respects, for example, being in a Chinook helicopter that gets shot right down to the ground, which would be frankly scary, and by ‘shot down’ I mean in the fu’realz like a rebel rocket hitting your flying ship which then causes the flying to cease, along with your continuing to live, maybe, unless the pilot can somehow manage to crash-land it – because god knows anyone could just say something crazy like that without it really being true, which is not a very big deal, juxtaposed with perhaps having your airship blasted out of the sky over enemy territory while you were sitting in the back of it, except for a certain someone’s bald-faced lying on the TV news, right? – what you build is a thing called… ‘Trust.’

Of course were the opposite to be true, if a certain news-person didn’t give a good goddamn about respect, or the truth, then far beyond me a great deal many people would suddenly realize he was quite full of shit. And a certain conglomerate-network that had contracted to pay him millions of dollars would be in a very very bad situation, indeed.

UH-OH: There’s blood in the water

A Louisiana newspaper on Friday raised questions about tales that NBC News anchor Brian Williams has told publicly about his reporting from New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina.

Did he embellish his Hurricane Katrina experiences?

Williams said in a 2006 interview that he had watched the body of a man float by him in New Orleans’ famed French Quarter.

“When you look out of your hotel window in the French Quarter and watch a man float by face down, when you see bodies that you last saw in Banda Aceh, Indonesia, and swore to yourself that you would never see in your country,” Williams said.

But as the Advocate pointed out, the French Quarter is situated in an elevated part of the city. Various media reports since 2005 have noted that the tourist-heavy neighborhood was spared from the kind of devastating flooding that the Lower Ninth Ward suffered.

And what about that bout of hurricane dysentery?

Then in a 2014 interview with his predecessor Tom Brokaw, Williams said he inadvertently drank some floodwater and got terribly sick.

“My week, two weeks there was not helped by the fact that I accidentally ingested some of the floodwater,” he told Brokaw. “I became very sick with dysentery, our hotel was overrun with gangs, I was rescued in the stairwell of a five-star hotel in New Orleans by a young police officer. We are friends to this day. And it just was — I look back at total agony.”

Dr. Brobson Lutz, a former city health director who provided emergency health services in the French Quarter during the storm, told the Advocate that the neighborhood was “never wet.” As for Williams’ story of coming down with dysentery, he said he’d never heard of anything like that.

“I saw a lot of people with cuts and bruises and such, but I don’t recall a single, solitary case of gastroenteritis during Katrina or in the whole month afterward,” Lutz told the Advocate.

As for drinking floodwater (…umm?) Lutz adds: “I don’t know anybody that’s tried that to see, but my dogs drank it, and they didn’t have any problems.” It’s been nice knowing you, Brian…

Share

I think I’ll take global warming denialist for FAIL, Alex

One of Townhall’s finest comes forth to mock the entire climate science community.

Were you hit this week by all the climate change?

As you know it was the scientists, and not the weather geeks, who told us Juno was the sort of storm that would lay us all in our graves.

…thanks to the mainstream media, the whole nation was covered in climate change. The only thing missing from the coverage was any proof, but that doesn’t stop the alarmists.

Because when a massive storm buries a huge swath of the East Coast under two feet of snow, but it fails to do likewise in New York City, the guys who contemplate Iron Age tree rings for a living are quite dumb. To point and laugh at those people while being a moron yourself makes for a bit of irony. Derek.

This week gave us more examples of just how clueless and dedicated the devout members of the Holy Church of Global Warming truly are…

Clueless, eh? Do tell.

…Sachs said he’d asked a colleague “what the record is for mega snowfalls. He points out that since record keeping started in 1869, five of the 10 biggest snowstorms have come since 2003. So suggests that we’re seeing a lot more of this kind of extreme event.” The only problem is it’s not true.

The only problem is it’s absolutely true. But for the fact that it is flawlessly true. See here. If you wanted to come up with a perfect definition of “truth” for your new dictionary you could just write “Please see five of the worst snowstorms that hit New York since 2003.” Derek can’t reach up his own ass and pull out the simplest historical fact, yet look at the epithets Uber-Man tosses around so authoritatively in his screed: alarmists, failed, failing, incoherent, rambling, sock-puppet, bobbleheads, asinine, cultists. And let’s take note of why everybody else other than Awesome Derek is so dumb:

Bill Nye “the Mechanical Engineering Guy” (that is, after all, what his degree is in. He’s not a scientist, he’s a failed actor who was cast as “the Science Guy” for a local TV show after failing as a comedian)…

MSNBC contributor Jeffrey Sachs was on to make another asinine claim…Sachs, an economist and not a scientist, responded with an “Amen!” by giving the highly scientific answer of “Certainly scientists think so.”

That an economist or a mechanical engineer could know anything about global warming is too preposterous to consider. Should your whatever layperson want to delve into the byzantine details of stone cold climate science, have them pull up a chair, and get out a fresh notepad, and listen with rapt attention to…

Derek the Climate Genius

…a radio goof. And a genius at that:

Apparently the “scientists” at Columbia University’s “Earth Institute,” which Sachs runs, don’t have access to Google. I do, and I used it to easily disprove that lie.

…and there they go, all the facts Derek could manage “to easily disprove that lie.” He buried them all in some links that he somehow found on the Google. Sure, they’re not a couple millenia worth of Arctic ice cores stored under lock and key in a university cold room, but just click on them. They will prove once and for all that New York has not suffered any climate change related high-precipitation winter events over the last 12 years (the warmest on record, cough).

The first link, for example. It ranks the ten worst snowstorms of the last 125 years…to be found on all planet Earth. Ha Ha New York, only one of your recent blizzards made the global list. The second link takes the time to detail four of New York’s worst winter storms, but apparently only two of those have occurred since 2006. Two out of four is way less than five out of ten – jinx! You lose! The third link (see “easily disprove”) shows what a record-setting storm Juno was for a host of East Coast cities. But for New York? It was only the 25th biggest on record. You want to find out about the Big Apple’s biggest storms, you have to look at the disaster graphic that shows two of the top five have happened in the last nine seasons. This, I think, makes for a 40% cut of a double-helping of crow for the climate scientists. Remember, those idiots swore that 50% of an even bigger list was somehow meaningful. And the final link? The coup de grace? Of course it’s another list of the greatest snow-dumps in the history of our planet. Which, if New York was in anyway serious about, trying to compete with all the other regions global- and warming-wise, it should have found a way to top by now. Pretty lame.

So the day after Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck blew up the asteroid containing “Snowmageddon” and saved the east coast, Boston was digging itself out from under what it has been digging itself out from under in every winter since Boston was founded.

Derek’s point being that it was just another typical winter day. Nothing like an historic event, see:

Tuesday’s massive snowstorm is officially among Boston’s biggest ever recorded after dumping 24.6 inches of snow on the city, according to the National Weather Service.

The storm is now Boston’s sixth-largest snowstorm ever. It falls just behind the February 2013 blizzard, which brought 24.9 inches of snow. Tuesday’s storm took over the No. 6 spot from the January 2005 snowstorm, which blanketed Boston with 22.5 inches of snow.

Juno was nothing like the blizzard of two years ago – that was epic. It was a far cry from the whopping blast of ten years ago, boy howdy that sucked. But if Juno had been anywhere near as bad as those two, you might start to wonder if there were some sort of trend of really nasty snowstorms pounding Boston over the last decade. You might even wonder why great piles of snow kept falling from the sky.

But not Derek, he doesn’t have the time for such nonsense. His days are taken up with the business of proving how much smarter he is than you. And the business of being smarter than all the climate nerds, and the clouds. And the pouring rain.

Share

You started it, bitch

As for giving as good as he gets, Barack Obama isn’t just talented. He’s brilliant. He’s by far the wittiest president we’ve had in the last 50 years.

Touché. This is funny:

Nice Elon. Of course the president being – once again – such a divisive little man (he wears it like a suit of skin) only drives Republicans deeper into their homeland of butthurt. Mind you, we know exactly what he meant to say in his address because the text was released beforehand, so the jibe was clearly ad-libbed. It was only an answer to the Republicans trolling him with a sarcastic ovation. Nonetheless, he’s really a very nasty little tar baby politician.

Washington Times:

“Obama calls for civility, then immediately taunts Republicans over his two presidential wins”

Actually, Obama calls for civility and then Republicans immediately taunt him. So he answers back – and that’s where the brutality begins. These people are such a bunch of entitled jerks they think they own the franchise. Weekly Standard:

“Video: Obama Taunts Republicans: ‘I Know Because I Won Both of Them’”

Is there such a word as ‘back-taunt’? Not that they would dare use it, I’m just curious. Breitbart:

“Obama Gloats: ‘I Know Because I Won Both of Them’”

How about the word ‘gloat-counter’? Or ‘parry-gloat’? They sound as if he’s been giving them the wet willy for six years and they can no longer think. Comments?

• Regardless of politics, you got to admit, that was lacking class

• There is nothing “badass” about this homosexual illegal alien Usurper in the WH calling himself Obama he’s just a sock puppet for President Jarrett anyway.

• He slaps like a weak effeminate

…so the quip is a big nothing, but what a classless little fag he is for using it. Got it. This Bloomberg headline I love, trolling Obama’s trolling of the GOP’s trolling:

“He Won Two, But Obama’s Speech Shows There’s Always a Next Election”

So I guess we’ll see you Mr. Obama in 2017…aaaw but you won’t be around any more, will ya? I wonder how long it took them to come up with a riposte, probably about an hour longer than their target. Look, it’s the Former Virgin:

One wonders if Ben and his remarkable civility can remember Rep. Wilson interrupting a previous Obama speech with perhaps the classiest State of the Union moment ever.

Why yes of course Ben does, because last year he used Joe’s very classy SOTU hissy-fit to point out that liberals are all liars. As always, with these people, what constitutes fair play turns on the core belief that they are the powerless. In that miserable state it’s only proper to let them be as class-independent as they like…

Share

It’s D’Crepit, it’s D’Mented, it’s D’Souza

And so there I was, drunk. As I usually am on any night before a holiday. Why not, Martha? And I was playing some darts at the English pub up the ways. I had all of 50 points left to win my last game, and what did I do? I went and threw a double bullseye. Yep, that’s right. And I thought ‘Well now that’s some Michael Jordan shit right there.’

But for sheer balls I could never manage a D’Souza tweet. Buddha no, that’s out of my league. I’d have to throw idling oil tankers at the bullseye with my eyes closed, hitting it 99 times in a row, then throw the battered dartboard into deep space, striking a particular streaking Van Allen Belt helium atom and shattering it into its substantive protons and neutrons, with the particles doing the fling galactic, getting sucked into the four corners of space-time, wherein roiling monstrous black holes spew said atom bits into wholly separate universes, from which nothing, no thing – ever – could remotely be said to ever come back. And then. The bits would have to zoom right back to the English Pub and – skree! – stop on a dime to form a drunken pyramid, and sing the Wonderama theme song to an amused crowd while I stood in the bathroom peeing on one of those bullseye urinal cakes, with a mounting sense of Deja Vu, a long time before I ever was born. For me to compare myself to Martin Luther King, Junior.

Share
Previous - Next