One problem with candidate Hillary Clinton

In losing to an awful no good racist sex criminal who happened to be the Republican nominee, we have in Hillary Clinton a bad candidate. An historically bad candidate. We have someone who did not know the country, did not understand its current politics, and could not connect with voters. Frankly she just wasn’t interested. The job was already hers, why should she bother?

The GOP may have gotten stuck with a hard charging despoiler, but, after the most painful presidential campaign in history, America preferred him.

That’s how bad Hillary was. This is how badly the Democratic party ended up doing. And don’t annoy me, not everybody in America is a scumbag, okay? Not everybody is an uneducated bozo. There should have been obvious ways for Hillary to win. It should have been easy.

But she stank. In a time where politicians, Republicans particularly, are a bunch of entitled do-nothings that know fuck all about America, and obviously don’t care, she looked like an example of the problem. Nobody has a proper idea of the things Hillary Clinton has done for anyone. Nobody has any idea what it is she really gives a damn about. The Iraq War, the Bankruptcy Bill, the incestuous ties with the party – we’re all familiar with that. But what’s her true passion? Where’s the soul of this politician?

Barack Obama didn’t help.

“I can say with confidence there has never been a man or a woman, not me, not Bill, nobody more qualified than Hillary Clinton to serve as president of the United States of America.”

What about John Kerry? He too was a Senator. Not just for a paltry eight years, for twenty-eight years. Now he’s the Secretary of State, just like Hillary was. Has there never been a more qualified person to serve as president than him? Is he someday the greatest candidate ever?

How about Chuck Hagel? He was a senator for 12 years, then he became the Secretary of Defense. Has there never been a more qualified person than Chuck to serve as president? Will we someday call him the candidate of the century?

It makes no sense. What’s Obama getting at? Why would he go out of his way to say this? Answer: Because the candidate was once the spouse of a president. That’s the sizzle in the argument – this person once lived in the White House. She’s been there before.

How dumb is that? She didn’t have any constituents, she had no official duties. She did not participate in the government, never argued for or against any legislation, never ruled on a case before the Supreme Court, and cast absolutely no votes in Congress in eight years. But Obama, like so many other giddy Democrats, actually thought Americans would ultimately be swayed by this mundane fact. The difference between Clinton and all those other senator-secretaries is…she used to be First Lady.

This is what made the candidate a slam-dunk. This was why no discerning person could vote for Donald Trump. This was why, without a doubt, there’s “never been a more qualified person to serve as president.” Because she once was married to a president.

Imagine saying the exact same thing of another candidate. Imagine saying that of someone who happened to be a man-person. If somebody named Steve Smith were a former first gentleman and senator/secretary? If he ran for President? Would Democrats say he was the greatest candidate ever? Anyone making that argument would get laughed at. If anything, people would find it a reason to vote against him.

Americans didn’t buy the hype, and you can’t blame them. The sad truth is that Hillary Clinton is probably more of an idea than she is a politician. But you can bet the “Mrs. White House” argument made it much easier for all those smartypants neoliberal gurus to run her campaign. I mean, hell, who doesn’t love a first lady? President Donald Trump would like to thank every one of them.

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President Donald Trump: The First Hundred Days

I wake up groggy on the couch. I get up, get myself a glass of water and sit down in front of the computer. Classic Arts Showcase drones on softly in the background. PBS’ election coverage is over.

The fog begins to clear. As I hear the third in a series of arias playing, I realize that the fat lady is literally singing. A quick click and a last check of the electoral map – the Republican has 276 votes. The election is really over. Donald Trump is president, and Hillary Clinton’s political career is done.

Well, what now? What happens in the first few months of the Trump administration? I suppose we can play the Hundred Days game – why not? Everyone else will. I seem to remember Donald being very adamant and specific about what he would do. I certainly take him at his word.

Not long after his inauguration he’s going to make good on his promise to prosecute Hillary Clinton. He’ll probably begin that in the first week of his presidency, somewhere around the 25th of January. Attorney General Rudy Giuliani will coordinate with FBI Director James Comey to begin a comprehensive and honest investigation of the former Secretary of State, with Benghazi, the private server e-mails, the Clinton Foundation, and her treatment of Bill’s sexual assault victims being the earliest targets for evidence-gathering and producing indictments.

Sometime in mid-February, you can expect Giuliani to show up with a throng of TV cameras – as he always did back in New York – and frog march Clinton right out of her office and into a patrol car on a chilly Chappaqua morning.

The second thing he’s likely to make happen, because it’s fairly easy to do, is enact his Muslim immigration ban. It only takes a review of a handful of government regulations and procedures relevant to two bureaus, I think, to prevent all Muslims from the entering the country from now on. There will be some legal wrangling about it over the months going forward and some cuckster punkass reversals up and down the legal chain. But with the timely death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the additions of Ted Cruz and Judge Anthony Napolitano to the Supreme Court, the ban will eventually pass muster and become bedrock law sometime before the midterm elections in 2018.

The third, and hardest thing, he’ll undertake in his first 100 days will be deporting 12 million illegal aliens from the country. This, by any perspective, is a massive project that will rival any of our recent war efforts.

The FBI, and ICE, and the Border Patrol, coordinating with local, state and federal courts, and all relevant law enforcement authorities, and with the begrudging aid of dozens, or hundreds, of foreign countries, and with the cooperation of whatever other institutions, or people, or nouns you can think of, will begin a massive project to identify, localize, capture, re-locate, hold and begin court proceedings against millions upon millions of people currently living across 4 million square miles of the world’s third largest country.

Of course many of these people will manage to see this coming and begin hiding in various places that federal marshals, or state troopers, or local Cub Scouts, wouldn’t normally expect them to be: Under your car. In your garage. Up your favorite tree in the backyard.

For that reason you might find it wise to perhaps buy yourself a gun. There will certainly be some shooting at some point, and I can’t really say it’s a bad idea to keep one handy. When it happens that law enforcement authorities began swarming over your neighborhood in pursuit of fleeing migrants, protect yourself by pulling it out of the drawer, carefully loading it, and then wisely handing it over to one side or the other. Do this depending on who you think is probably the better shot. You definitely don’t want a protracted gun battle on your property. If both sides appear to be handy with firearms, break out whatever stockpile of Kevlar helmets and tactical body armor you keep in the closet. If the kids are simply too small for Iraq War cast-offs, try sitting them in a wooden box. A wooden box is very easy to make, remarkably sturdy, and can be re-purposed if your efforts at protecting their young lives fail.

After that, of course, Donald Trump will begin building a huge wall. A thousand miles long, and forty feet high…

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Once again, Glenn Greenwald is right

Talk about living in your head.

We’re only trying to get through tomorrow with a minimal amount of gunplay and bloodshed. Meanwhile Glenn hasn’t bothered to notice what the Trump half of America has been saying, or doing, or promising to do if that bitch steals the election.

He thinks Republican politicians can be reasonable people, inured to their rabid supporters, politically distinct from the likes of Fox News and Rush Limbaugh, and can come to the sober conclusion that Hillary Clinton is the once-in-a-lifetime sort of president (…female, Democrat, Clinton…) they can all unite behind. Of course, Glenn, because…? Because two or three of them walked out of Donald’s KKK rallies? Please.

It is currently politically risky for any Republican to be anywhere to the left of Pepe the Frog. If you really want to know what the GOP leadership are likely to do, you can look at them right now – they’re united behind Donald Trump. How the outcome of tomorrow’s election completely upends this reality, I don’t know.

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Good n’ Evil: Randian Tales of Two Presidents

The Glibertarian stinkpods over at Ricochet have some last minute advice on how to make excuses for yourself while voting for Donald Trump. Even if you aren’t some sort of pathetic racist traitor it’s worth a read, for the feigning ‘I suppose I could be wrong,’ and for the usual laughs. I mean really, as if anyone thought Ayn Rand wouldn’t fall down at The Donald’s knees and start tugging at his belt the moment she met him.

Who knows what the courts will do if the Democrats can get a commanding majority on the Supreme Court? We have already had all sorts of madness shoved down our throats by those who legislate from the bench. If you think that it has gone about as far as it goes, you do not know today’s Democratic Party.

Paul Rahe’s point is that a U.S. President is powerful. So powerful in fact that you can’t allow him to be a lady Democrat, who of course will be verklempt and empathetic, and will probably put an emo hack on the Supreme Court thereby making it even harder for Paul and his pals to beat the fags in a back alley on a Saturday night. If there’s one thing we mustn’t tolerate, it’s a loopy leftist who will “legislate from the bench.” Huh? Yeah.

Can we tolerate “racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic” speech — speech that is “deplorable and irredeemable,” that is “negative, dark, and divisive with a dangerous vision?” Surely, surely not. And this would be easy. If we can punish the “hate” in “hate crimes,” why not punish it or outlaw it in speech? All that you have to do is to “reinterpret” the First Amendment.

Which, of course, any woman would do. You therefore have no choice but to vote for Donald Trump.

Even though he’s a monster? Even so, Paul tells us, Donald Trump is your only choice. He argues, compellingly: Think about it. Use your brain. How important is a “president” anyway? It’s not as if one person could screw the whole country up.

On Tuesday, you will not be getting married; you will not be choosing a pastor; you will not be joining a church; and you will not be choosing a hero. You will not be doing anything that might leave you with morally dirty or morally clean hands. You will be doing something much more prosaic — something akin to hiring someone to mow your lawn.

No big deal. Like you were hiring the kid next door. On the other hand, if you vote for Hillary Clinton?

The current generation — well represented by our current President — have forgotten just how fragile the international order is. In Europe right now and in the Pacific — thanks in large part to Barack Obama — that order is rapidly coming apart. The last time this happened it cost us hundreds of thousands of lives and treasure beyond imagination. This time, if this happens, it will be worse.

Thousands of corpses. Worse than that, wow. Then again, you can vote for Donald Trump.

You will be hiring someone to do for you what you do not have the time or the other resources to do for yourself. And, just as you customarily do when you hire someone to mow the lawn, you should — in this situation also — prudently calculate which of the candidates for the job will do the least damage and the most good…

Okay! But remember, there is still Hillary Clinton.

…we now live in very dangerous times — times dangerous for our republic, as I argue; and times dangerous for our nation, as Jeremy and John argue.

You can, of course, turn your back on the whole thing — you can stay home or line up with Jill Stein, Gary Johnson, or Evan McMullin. That would, however, be a cop-out… For to throw your vote away in a time of national crisis is to dodge your duty as a citizen.

But then there’s Donald Trump!

He is an entertainer — a reality show dramatist — and he is very good at venting the frustrations that have many of our fellow citizens in their grip…and he gave a speech on foreign affairs at Gettysburg not long ago that was positively sane.

There are times he seems completely sane. Heck, what else do you need to know? Hitler was nothing like that, I can tell you.

So to sum it all up. Upon being elected, one of these candidates will immediately transmogrify into Satan herself. The other candidate, however, is bound to fetch whatever you throw in the sideyard then come back and lick your face. What’s with all the confusion?

…if we go wrong on those matters, there is no road back short of revolution. If Hillary Clinton wins on Tuesday, the odds are good that she, her party, and their friends in the judiciary will shut the system down (as they already have in our universities). Whatever defects Donald Trump has (and they are legion), he will not do that; and, even if he wanted to, he would not be able to. Presidents, on their own, are not that powerful, and The Donald will be very much on his own.

Got that? Should she win on Tuesday, an empowered Hillary Clinton will surely “shut the system down (as they already have in our universities).” Thankfully, though, you have a choice. President Donald Trump “will not do that; and, even if he wanted to, he would not be able to.” And why is that? Because, silly: “Presidents, on their own, are not that powerful.” I see.

God bless a Libertarian. The stupidest people on Earth.

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Comey’s October surprise: Dud.

Comey’s bombshell came at us like a meteor and hit with a surprising amount of force. The FBI Director’s little cry for attention made a pretty good crater, no doubt about that.

We’ve been circling the smoking device for days. Late last week we began poking at it, daring it to go off. Sometime Friday we finally got sick of the damn thing, and we demanded the boys in the munitions squad haul it off. Now they tell us it was only packed with confetti.

Just over a week after FBI Director James Comey dropped a bombshell into the presidential race by revealing newly-found evidence in the Hillary Clinton email probe, he offered what amounted to a “never mind” Sunday, notifying Congress that the newly-discovered messages wouldn’t change the bureau’s conclusion that no prosecution of Clinton was warranted…

“Based on our review, we have not changed our conclusions that we expressed in July with respect to Secretary Clinton,” Comey wrote. “I am very grateful to the professionals at the FBI for doing an extraordinary amount of high-quality work in a short-period of time.”

Goodbye James Comey. Goodbye Donald Trump. Goodbye Breitbart news and Pepe the Frog. Farewell, so long.

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Stephen Hawking, Tiger Woods, and the ability to speak with aliens…

Cogniq brain pills, the enduring scam. I wrote about this back in August of 2015:

Eminent theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking says what? The Biggest Event In Human History, really? You mean, like Cal Jam Three? Well I wouldn’t want to miss that. *click*…

Since then something like 40,000 people who had been puzzled by, or dubious of, Cogniq’s claims have read the post. This shows you 1.) How aggressive the marketers have been with their ads, and 2.) How successful the scam has been. 200 people a day would not be clicking over from Google to read my little takedown if the grifters weren’t still spamming the world with their laughable claims and getting a certain percentage of people to buy their worthless supplements at $50 a bottle.

Which is pretty sad – but it’s also funny. Because the Cogniqers haven’t gotten any more sophisticated in any of their schemes. About the only thing they have done is changed the name of their bogus product over and over again.

hawking-pill-change-humanity

Ta-daa. Cogniq is now called BrainPlus IQ. But sure enough Stephen Hawking is still being interviewed by Anderson Cooper. And the brayne boosterz are still about to catalyze the “biggest event in human history.”

And once again there are multiple celebrity endorsers. Last time it was Bill Gates, Ashton Kutcher and Johnny Depp. This time it’s…

brain-pillz-tiger

Tiger Woods. And…

brayne-pills-denzel

Denzel Washington. And…

brayne-pillz-dr

…Dr. Oz. (Which is ironic because Cogniq/BrainPlus is a lot like the crap the doctor already endorses.)

And of course there’s the humble testimonial, with its usual junior high school gobbledygook, emanating from a supergenius who doesn’t seem to know anything at all. Meet Alan:

After the first day of using BrainPlus IQ. I took one and forgot all about it.

Alan took a rocket fuel memory booster. Then he forgot it.

Maybe 20-30 minutes later I felt odd.

Because…who is that man in the mirror? Or maybe it wasn’t his head but his wallet that felt lighter?

I can only describe it by saying my mind felt calm and still. I was playing a ‘Mensa Mind Game’ and scored 100% on every answer.

No, that wasn’t some Mensa mind game. That was a ‘Mensa Mind Game’. And he didn’t just do well, he “scored 100% on every answer.” Here you and I are taking one of these tests – without any brayne pillz – muddling along and guessing ‘false’, or ‘all of the above’, over and over again. Bighead Alan goes out and scores a hundred percent on the very first question. Heck, give the guy enough I.Q tests and he’ll have piles of percentages, likely in the millions.

One Month Later: Alan Can Now Read 200 words per minute and scored 50 points above average on his
most recent IQ test.

200 words per minute, this is Einstein-esque? Or is it only very average? [Answer: you hit it back in high school. Darn.]

Obviously, our scammers could use a few bottles of their own neural nitroglycerine. But then perhaps you, too, would someday like to cranio-jabber with…a Betazoid?

brayne-pillz-aliens

Same old pill scam, same physicist. New name: GeniuX.

Take note kids, Stephen Hawking himself says his advanced brain functionality is due to drugs… Stephen Hawking says the pill increase cognitive mind function while strengthing the prefrontal cortex. This helps boost memory and recall. Recent interviews with Stephen Hawking state that his mind is sharper than ever. He credits this to the drug GeniuX.

Only now, with more Martians.

As a less advanced species, we may not have developed key attributes of the mind in order to communicate with aliens of increased intelligence… For fear of overloading our mental capacity, they have remained quiet until our cognitive function evolves enough to communicate… Given this new drug, though, the conversation between men and aliens may be happening sooner than we think.

And let’s not forget this bonus: male dominance.

brayne-pillz-kathy-verified-real

No, of course not! Which is precisely why you should buy it. Who doesn’t want to trick some aliens into having galactic buttsex, or something? The fact that PBS has, of all credible people, sadly, been running ‘brain enhancement’ specials/infomercials/infotainment late at night non-stop for the last five years probably tells us everything we need to know. Meanwhile, somebody is getting very rich.

See also: IntelliGEN, Synagen, Super Brain, MZT 48, etc. etc…

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I just don’t know what to do, but someone does

We liberals have a history of working tirelessly to learn right from wrong, and to do the right thing when it matters. But when the rats start crawling out from under the floorboards, we’re frequently too timid about watching them only take the place over.

When the networks declared Florida for Bush (shortly after 2:15 a.m. Eastern), Gore told his advisers, “I want to concede,” and he proceeded to do so by phoning Bush. Gore’s mistake was not merely failing to check in with his own campaign staffers, who had very different numbers from the networks at that moment. His more fundamental mistake was thinking there needed to be a concession speech, from one candidate or the other, on Election Night…

Gore hadn’t realized that the fight for the presidency had only moved on to its next chapter. There was plenty of work still to be done to keep the rats from taking the White House over – which they inevitably did. September the Eleventh, the War in Iraq and the Great Recession were the horrific results.

Charlie is right here:

The FBI Is a Player in the 2016 Election, and the FBI Is Out of Control

…Clearly, there are FBI sources dissatisfied with decisions made not to keep investigating Hillary Rodham Clinton’s e-mails and/or the Clinton Foundation. They’re talking. There also seem to be FBI sources who are frustrated with what they see as the too-close-by-half relationship of the Donald Trump campaign to Russian oligarchs up to and including Vladimir Putin. They’re talking. And there are people completely outraged by the bungling attempts by FBI director James Comey to involve himself so directly in the presidential election, and they’re all talking. The FBI, in short, is out of control.

If you think the last minute swing in the polls [‘Enthusiasm For Clinton Has Ebbed’: Newest National Poll Shows Trump Up by 1 Point] has absolutely nothing to do with Director Comey’s independence being so above reproach he should be allowed to do whatever he likes, then sure why not – let’s spend this last week feeding and petting the vermin.

Fuck it: It’s RatFest 2016. Cue voiceover: This time, it’s like the other times

But we know from sad history that electoral politics is one area from which the FBI, and every other institution of the surveillance state, should stay away—or be kept away—at all possible costs, because they can do more damage by accident than any terrorist can do on purpose.

And now the FBI, after not having its records vault auto-Twitter function running since October 2015…has fixed the feed! Just now – lucky us! And its first new release of requests is 129 pages of its investigation into…Bill Clinton’s pardon of Marc Rich! From 2001! The timing!

The ham-handedness of this is pathetic, but the response is worse. No, there’s not much I can do. But there are plenty of Democrats in the government. The President can certainly speak up here. The Attorney General is essentially Comey’s boss and can call him on the carpet. But they’re not going to do that because…civility requires Al Gore do the right thing! Or some such bullshit.

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Homophobe: Happy Halloween you LGBTs, you’re gonna die

Have a hate-filled Halloween, everybody.

A Far South Side (Chicago) grade school will not co-host a haunted house that contained, among other depictions, a representation of the June, 2016, shootings at the Pulse nightclub, according to CPS officials.

Fernwood Elementary School, 10041 S. Union Ave., was advertised by promoters as the location of a haunted house entitled The Room: A Journey to Hell that was scheduled to take place the evenings of Oct. 29 and Oct. 30.

Someone thought it would be kewl to turn an elementary school into a national tragedy. Ha ha, boo everybody, it’s a nightclub shooting. Step lightly over the cadavers. Careful not to get any of the blood on you, it’s hard to wash out.

Wow. But before you remark how heartless this funhouse would be, you might like to know that there was a certain logic behind it. Tyrone Tappler, good Christian man, thought he might turn a bad day into a good opportunity. He would use the ‘horror’ of Halloween to literally scare the hell out of South Side kids. He would teach them a little about right and wrong, and sin and redemption, and making good decisions based on the Bible’s teachings rather than the stirrings of your silly homo pee-pee. Because Tyrone believes being gay will get you hunted down, shot and killed.

Advertised as a “Christian interactive experience,” the event is produced by Tyrone Tappler Productions. On Aug. 31, the company asked on Facebook for volunteers who’d depict the victims of the Pulse nightclub shooting: “Club Pulse, Dancers, Victims … CAGED PEOPLE/SCREAMERS, Extras needed trying to escape a cage! … SOUNDS INTERESTING? COME OUT THIS SATURDAY!!!”

Among other scenarios reportedly depicted in the haunted house were a botched abortion and the 2015 Charleston church shooting. According to the ticket sales page, The Room “is a real life haunted house. Guests will experience IN YOUR FACE scenes of dark reality. … You will walk in 10 Rooms and encounter individuals who will make choices. The choice is life or death; sin or salvation; heaven or hell. The scenes will be action-packed, real and jaw dropping.”

You might like to see the flyer.

haunted-lesbian-shooting-scenario

Nat (who asked that their complete name not be used ) said that they saw a flyer for the haunted house at a restaurant at 104th Street and Torrence Avenue, adding, “I went in for some dinner, and promptly lost my appetite when I saw that.”

If you’re like me, you look at that image and think…”Wait. Satan’s shot-up lesbian? Don’t I know her?”

It took me a minute of image fishing, but yes. We do know her.

rihanna

It’s Rihanna.

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Who has November 9th in the James Comey deadpool?

Oh dear fuck me. More of this crap.

CNN’s Carl Bernstein said that the FBI’s stunning announcement that it assessing new emails pertinent to its investigation of Hillary Clinton’s private email server wouldn’t have happened unless “it was something serious.”

“Well, there’s no question that the e-mails have always been the greatest threat to her candidacy for president, that her conduct in regard to the e-mails is really indefensible,” said Bernstein…

“We don’t know what this means yet except that it’s a real bombshell,” Bernstein continued…

OOOH. Did you get a kick out of that? Did it AC/DC your frisson? Did it Freebird your amygdala? Boy howdy, brand new emails pertinent to its Clinton investigation! Conduct in regard indefensible! Trump is right! Watergate!

Yeah okay, but wait a minute. Carl? Are you deploying explosives because she had an e-mail account? On her own server? And then she…e-mailed some people?! Is that what’s so “indefensible”? Because that stuff is not remotely a “bombshell.” The kids call that a “spitwad.” Or a “musty fart.” Or lulz, “SRSLY?”

But if you want to know actual facts for yourself, nowadays, and learn the crazy new things, as you once did long ago back when you were, if I remember, a journalist rather than a chintz TV psychic and scandal-chucking pundit, then OK here:

The disclosure by the Federal Bureau of Investigation late on Friday, October 28 that it had discovered potential new evidence in its inquiry into Hillary Clinton’s handling of her personal email when she was Secretary of State has virtually nothing to do with any actions taken by the Democratic nominee…

There is no indication the emails in question were withheld by Clinton during the investigation, the law enforcement official told Newsweek, nor does the discovery suggest she did anything illegal. Also, none of the emails were to or from Clinton, the official said. Moreover, despite the widespread claims in the media that this development had prompted the FBI to “reopen” of the case, it did not…

The e-mails just now discovered on Anthony Weiner’s laptop were neither to nor from Hillary Clinton. The candidate is also not under investigation, nor has the previous investigation been “reopen”-ed. Try grokking that, Carl.

Frankly, an FBI director’s behavior is supposed to be better than this. For Comey to insert his bureau into the election this way without clarifying what the hell he’s doing, or what in god’s name he’s looking for, is appalling. He’s gonna lob a bombshell! at the country then go kick back in his condo, maybe watch some baseball. I’m sure no one will get the wrong idea about Hillary Clinton, and oh by the way what’s she done with herself lately? What’s that? For president, you say, really? Jeepers, who knew? November 9th he should be canned.

Because I’m a helping sort, and god willing he’ll need a new hobby soon, here’s a little something he can sink his teeth into:

Clintons’ New Chappaqua House Renovated Without Permits

From the lawless Clinton files: it seems the Clintons can’t bother to obtain permits for renovations on their new Chappaqua house…

Maskiell…said as he headed to the basement to talk to the contractor, he noticed the kitchen, floors and walls appeared to have been recently renovated and new electrical fixtures were being installed in the ceiling…

A Clinton spokesperson did not return requests for comment.

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Newt Gingrich, Godzilla-size hypocrite

My goodness, is this right? Newt Gingrich melted his self down on Megyn Kelly’s Fox News show last night. Kelly dared mention Donald Trump’s numerous assaults on women – what? he’s running for president! – and the sheer impudence turned Newt into a geezer scoldnato:

Gingrich, an open supporter of Trump’s candidacy, blasted Kelly for focusing too much on Trump’s sexual misconduct and not enough on issues like those raised by the speeches given by Hillary Clinton to bankers in 2013…

“You want to go back to the tapes of your show recently?” he said. “You are fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy.”

Eh, you know who’d be someone “…fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy”? A flaxen-haired sex criminal who doesn’t know fuckall about government (or anything else). Seriously.

Kelly quickly refuted him, saying she had covered the hacked emails and that Trump’s behavior towards women was an important topic to cover.

“Listen, Mr. Speaker, I’m not fascinated by sex,” she said, “but I am fascinated by the protection of women and understanding what we’re getting in the Oval Office.”

You know who else had this common Republican problem? Newt Gingrich. He was Speaker of the House during Bill Clinton’s impeachment.

As Clinton insisted that he had not had sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky, and evidence mounted that he had, Gingrich drummed up support for impeachment. He declared he would “never again, as long as I am speaker, make a speech without commenting on this topic.” No one knew at the time that Gingrich was carrying on an extramarital affair with Callista Bisek, a staffer on the House payroll 23 years his junior, but that did not deter him.

The Republicans were widely expected to win the 1998 midterm elections as Gingrich orchestrated a final-week advertising blitz about the Lewinsky mess. But a burgeoning backlash against Gingrich and his party for pushing the sex-and-lies scandal cost them five House seats on Election Day. Walker conceded they had overplayed their hand: “We became the impeachment party instead of the party of the balanced budget.”

Gingrich’s GOP focused on the president’s sex scandal at the expense of everything else, and the nation rejected the strategy. We’d all had enough: “You are fascinated with sex and you don’t care about public policy.”

The upshot?

Gingrich tried to shift the blame to the media: “I don’t think we are nearly as obsessed as the press corps,” he said, although it was his drive to oust Clinton that had kept the scandal in the forefront of the news.

Still, there was no disguising that the midterm results were a personal repudiation of Gingrich’s brand of confrontational politics. Three days after the election, Gingrich addressed his caucus. “I’ll never forget it,” says Ehrlich. “He said he thought that his continued presence might cost us the majority and he didn’t want to be there and did not want to be the cause of our losing the majority.” Gingrich was ending his revolution, his congressional career in ashes.

Gingrich, the politician, had become obsessed with destroying the president for having an affair…while he was having an affair. It cost him everything. His career was in ruins, as were his dreams of someday becoming president himself.

Now here he is in 2016 – without a trace of irony on his face – accusing a Fox News talking head of being a scandal-obsessed loser. As if he had no recollection at all of why it was America had grown to hate him, or what particular thing it was they fired him over. Amazing.

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Scott Adams goes Lee Harvey Oswald (for Trump!)

Still rockin’ the Master Persuader hypothesis, or something, Randian uber-branding self promoter and neuro-audiologist Scott Adams checks in with us once again to tell us how Donald Trump is still…I don’t know…winning? Or losing but, c’mon, unfair?

As of today, Clinton has the superior persuasion strategy. Crook beats monster.

Is Hillary now the Master Persuader?

Reality isn’t a factor in this election, as per usual. If the truth mattered, voters might care that the Democratic primaries were rigged against Sanders. They might care that the Clinton Foundation looks like a pay-to-play scheme. They might care that the FBI gave Clinton a free pass.

Nasty woman! Lies. But I thought the whole point of persuasion was to convince people of your own point of view. Why would the Dark Mistress, Clinton, be spouting Trump’s talking points? I’m not sure Scott has thought this all the way through. And if “the truth mattered”, why would anyone care that “the Clinton Foundation looks like a pay-to-play scheme”? I mean, who cares what Dilbert’s pal thinks about it? When it’s really a pretty generous charity? Ooooh I get it – Scott is working the ole’ persuasion. Really very sneaky (…he be a certificated genius). We now return to the crypto-linguistic semiotics:

Clinton’s team of persuaders have successfully crafted Trump’s offensive language and hyperbole into an illusion that he’s a sexist/racist in some special way that is different from the average citizen. The reality is that everyone is a little bit sexist and a little bit racist. We’re all wired that way. There’s no escape if you are human.

As if Clintonistas were in the Access Hollywood bus back then. Waving guerilla cue cards at the defenseless Donald: ACT LIKE AN ASS. And SAY PUSSY LADIES LOVE THAT. Of course the candidate obliged, because he’s wired in a certain way, and he’s like all of us, only human, born to maaake mistaaaakes. Or in scientific terms: Cha-ching! persuasion, bitch.

I can’t change anyone’s mind if they see Trump as a monster. So instead I will make you a promise.

Scott made a case long ago that Trump is a 98% lock for the presidency, but the number has since shrunk about tenfold. He’s made little headway convincing America to go for his candidate. So now he’s going to try something different. Will you take him at his word?

My promise: If Trump gets elected, and he does anything that looks even slightly Hitler-ish in office, I will join the resistance movement and help kill him.

Vote Trump now, and Scott will assassinate him later.

Alright. I’m listening.

That’s an easy promise to make, and I hope my fellow citizens would use their Second Amendment rights to rise up and help me kill any Hitler-type person who rose to the top job in this country, no matter who it is.

OH, you nearly had me there. But getting somebody else to do your dirty work is a deal killer. If you’d been man enough to promise to blow Trump’s brains out, that would have been one thing. But hiding in the back of a pack of gun nuts and then ducking into a Starbucks at the first chance does not persuade me of the size of your balls. Which would have to be steely, and sizable, indeed, for me to vote for sex criminal Donald Trump. But you know. Nice try, cartoon boy.

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Dodgers do it again (lose)

I grew up here in L.A. and I love this town. But this Dodger team is killing me.

Since they won the World Series in 1988, they’ve been to the postseason 10 times. They’re 4 and 10 in playoff series. They’re 18 and 32 in playoff games. They’re 6 and 16 in National League Championship Series games in just the last 9 seasons. That’s .270 for the stat guys.

And they haven’t once been to the World Series. 50 playoff games, zero World Series appearances. We haven’t so much as won a 3rd game in the NLCS in 28 years. I’m thinking this is some sort of historic lameness, but I’m too pissed off to look it up. GAH.

We have no one to blame but ourselves. Closer Kenley Jansen has a regular season ERA of around 2.20, but he was 4.20 this year in the postseason. Joe Blanton was at 2.59 for the season, but then he hit the playoffs: 21.00. Clayton Kershaw won his 3rd Cy Young two years ago with an earned run average of 1.77(!). But his lifetime playoff ERA is 4.95. Over and over, when the Dodgers go to the playoffs they turn into pumpkins. That’s the story. October shows up, and they stink.


ADD: Oh yeah. Congratulations to the Cubs (grumble).


MORE: It’s a record. The Braves and the A’s have 9 postseasons in a row without a World Series appearance, but the Dodgers have 10. Hooray, we win.

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