Hail Saturday Morning and War With Iran

My oh me isn’t this WaPo editorial burning up the internet:

The Iranian regime that Netanyahu described so vividly — violent, rapacious, devious and redolent with hatred for Israel and the United States — is bound to continue its quest for nuclear weapons by refusing any “good deal” or by cheating.

This gives force to the Obama administration’s taunting rejoinder: What is Netanyahu’s alternative? War?

‘Netanyahu’s alternative’…as if. ‘War’ to Bibi is what ‘fresh carrots’ are to Bugs Bunny. You might remember him, the lovable screwball who walks around with a giant mallet in his pocket because he’s not much for playing nice. The rabbit is another deal.

This gives force to the Obama administration’s taunting rejoinder: What is Netanyahu’s alternative? War? But the administration’s position also contains a glaring contradiction.

Prepare for glaring, as to be outrageous.

National security adviser Susan Rice declared at an American Israel Public Affairs Committee conference before Netanyahu’s speech that “a bad deal is worse than no deal.” So if Iran will accept only a “bad deal,” what is President Obama’s alternative? War?

‘Contradiction’ still can’t be found anywhere near ‘opinion’ in the dictionary, but OH NO! War is Obama’s only alternative. This turns us to the serious question: Should we avoid It? Taking into account the soon-to-be death of my neighbor, and his neighbor, and such, I say ‘yes.’ We should avoid It.

But of course I am a idiot. These people are but the really smart ones, and for not better – and for worse – they have perspicacious proposals they simply must propose. Like this one here: How about the other alternative? You know, as in…YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

Does this mean that our only option is war? Yes…

There you have it. Questions, anyone?

Wouldn’t an attack cause ordinary Iranians to rally behind the regime? Perhaps, but military losses have also served to undermine regimes…

Jeepers I wonder. What would happen if Russia attacked Oklahoma, perhaps? What about it? Would Americans rally behind the Obama regime, with their Marines and their tanks and stuff? Yeh I think, perhaps. Maybe, perhaps, some rednecks would also take out their rifles, and mortars and flamethrowers and Serbian long cannons, and fight back. But Over There, I’m sure it’s completely different. I’m betting the Iranians would just lay down and welcome dying. Because it’s America invading after all, and really who wouldn’t want that? Incidentally: In total war one country conquers the other, and then (tiptoeing between the corpses) the losers are forced to do the winners will. Just thought I’d flesh out the WaPo argument for you.

Wouldn’t destroying much of Iran’s nuclear infrastructure merely delay its progress? Perhaps, but we can strike as often as necessary.

Post 9/11 America to the max! We’ll start a war every eighteen months, roughly whenever PBS airs a new episode of Downton Abbey. Will the forsaken Molesley rise above his lowly station? Will the acerbic dowager betray Edith’s awful secret? Wait – modern drama intervenes! It’s War In The Middle East XIV. Tell me: Does Iran have a nuclear bomb? Do they even want one? No one cares! Subtlety makes for crappy ratings!

Yes, there are risks to military action. But Iran’s nuclear program and vaunting ambitions have made the world a more dangerous place. Its achievement of a bomb would magnify that danger manyfold. Alas, sanctions and deals will not prevent this.

Daaanger. DAAANGER. Because nothing is worse than the threat of war, let’s have it.

Share

In the Republican style: New Jersey’s Chris Christie

October of 2010:

The largest public transit project in the nation, a commuter train tunnel under the Hudson River to Manhattan, was halted on Thursday by Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey because, he said, the state could not afford its share of the project’s rising cost…

The governor, a Republican, said he decided to withdraw his support for the project on Thursday after hearing from state transportation officials that the project would cost at least $2.5 billion more than its original price of $8.7 billion.

But Christie lied.

Now, a report from the Government Accountability Office makes it clear that the cost-cutting talk was political bluster. Mr. Christie estimated that the project could cost more than $14 billion, of which New Jersey would have had to pay 70 percent if you counted federal stimulus dollars and Port Authority money. The report said later federal estimates ranged from $9.8 billion to $12.4 billion and that the state’s real share was 14.4 percent. The benefits would have been huge…

The report, which Mr. Christie continues to dispute, cited estimates that home values and tax revenues would have risen, and that the construction would have added $9 billion to the regional economy.

It would have done so much good. But the Governor wasn’t having it.

At the time, analysts predicted that the project would raise New Jersey property values by $18 billion and allow $50 billion in new wages to come back to the state from New York City.

What a tragedy for New Jersey. And none of it makes any sense…until it does.

As Streetsblog reported at the time, it was all about New Jersey’s empty, debt-ridden transportation trust fund. New Jersey’s gas tax, the third-lowest in the country, hasn’t been raised for 23 years. The infrastructure funding woes that can be found across the country, therefore, are even more acute there. When Christie killed the ARC tunnel, the highway trust fund was expected to go bankrupt within a year.

Because the Republican wouldn’t raise the gas tax a couple pennies, the transportation fund was broke. So he killed the tunnel, stole the federal government’s money and then deposited it in New Jersey’s account. And though it earned the state an expensive federal lawsuit, he declared himself Fiscally Responsible. What a clever little man. Maybe he should run for president.

But of course Chris Christie is a big fat liar.

THE decision by the administration of Gov. Chris Christie to settle an environmental lawsuit against Exxon Mobil Corporation for roughly three cents on the dollar after more than a decade of litigation is an embarrassment to law enforcement and good government.

Even more troubling are the circumstances surrounding the decision, which recently came to light. As a judge deliberated whether to assess the $8.9 billion in damages New Jersey sought, the administration stepped in and agreed to take about $250 million and settle the case.

The state of New Jersey had won their environmental damage case against ExxonMobil. Their prosecutors were waiting to see how much – if not all – of their $8.9 billion claim the judge would award. But then Christie stepped in.

Former colleagues of mine in state government, where I served as commissioner of environmental protection from 2002 to 2006, have told me that Mr. Christie’s chief counsel inserted himself into the case, elbowed aside the attorney general and career employees who had developed and prosecuted the litigation, and cut the deal favorable to Exxon.

The oil giant, one of the most profitable energy companies in the world, had already been found liable. The only question that remained was, how much would it have to pay?

Now we know, and the result is a disgrace.

So ExxonMobil got away with barely a scratch.

I don’t see how this is good government. A fully-funded $8.7 billion dollar tunnel project that returns many more billions back to the people of New Jersey is too expensive for the skinflint governor, or so he says, and he kills it. But an $8.9 billion dollar lawsuit that the state had already won is quick-settled for pennies on the dollar, without so much as a plausible reason, or public comment. All of this leaves New Jersey short…$8.7 billion dollars. Meanwhile, his vaunted transportation fund

The Tri-State Transportation Campaign, a nonprofit advocacy and transportation policy organization called the fund’s insolvency “a legitimate crisis” worsened by the fact that Christie’s 2016 budget calls for slashing transportation spending by 8.4 percent, or about $119 million less than the current fiscal year.

…is once again broke. Oh, if only the governor hadn’t butted into the courtroom. The settlement from the lawsuit could have bankrolled the entire trust fund for 6 years. Or it could have plugged the hole in New Jersey’s yearly budget – the Christie Crisis – for the next 11 years. Or it could have paid for that old tunnel project, ignoring the fact it had of course already been bought and paid for, until some politician scotched it then pocketed the government money.

So it turns out that Chris Christie is not really fiscally responsible. He is in fact shockingly reckless, self-serving and stupid. And while as governor he should be trying to better the lives of his own constituents, he’d just prefer to grease his own dick. He’s…well, a Republican. I’d certainly be interested to hear what the famous loudmouth has to say about all this, but I get the feeling he’s currently hiding somewhere.

Christie was scheduled to give the opening speech at the American Enterprise Institute’s World Forum at a luxury resort on Sea Island, according to Bloomberg News. Corporate documents show that ExxonMobil has been a major benefactor of AEI, a conservative think tank in Washington whose scholars have disputed the scientific consensus on climate change and touted ExxonMobil as a “taxation hero.”

Or hanging out with old friends…

Share

Sound of heads exploding like the peal of Biblical thunder

It was only a matter of time.

This week, researchers at the University of Cambridge in Britain and the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel made the startling announcement that male same-sex couples may soon be able to have biological children of their own.

This is great.

Using these embryonic stem cells, the scientists were able to create primordial germ cells (PGCs), which can then go on to become eggs and sperm (because of the lack of the Y chromosome in females, the study limits this possibility to two males thus far). While the process has yet to create mature eggs and sperm, Dr. Joseph Hanna of the Weizmann institute says he is “optimistic,” and that same-sex biological parents could be a reality as soon as 2017.

I’m not currently in the mood to hear any arguments about the ethics of any such startling breakthrough. Right now I can’t get enough of the idea of Adam and Steve bringing home the first same-sex Homo sapiens. Hey look everybody it’s twin boys – congratulations! – appropriately named ‘Elton’ and ‘John.’ The conservative press and all the TV preachers of course go on bleating about walking abominations and the spit we lodged in Jesus’ eye, but Elton eventually grows up to be an All-Pro NFL linebacker. And John turns into a raging smash success Broadway choreographer, swishing across the Great White Way to a hail of wild acclaim, not to mention faaabulous flower bouquets, and the shameless chucking of G-strings. Please my Gay Allah, for once let me have my way…

Share

Makin’ the scene at the asylum

I have no doubt that here in America there are many doctors and surgeons who have become rich and successful beyond their wildest desires, and they’re now as wingnutty as Nazi Gruppenführers. But so far there’s only one Ben Carson.

New Day host Chris Cuomo then segued into another issue snaking through the court system — same-sex marriage — and asked Carson whether he believed being gay was a choice.

“Absolutely,” Carson said. “Because a lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight — and when they come out, they’re gay. So, did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question.”

Carson insults decent people here. But he thoroughly spits in the face of some Americans – usually young men – who you may not know much about, and who don’t very often vote.

But then David said something that struck John as strange. He asked him if he would ever get involved sexually with a man. John knew himself to be heterosexual; he had lost his virginity to a girl the year before. “I just kind of laughed it off,” he recalled.

And then it happened. One night after the last count before bed, John says, his cellmate suddenly attacked him, pulling down both of their pants and wrestling him onto the bottom bunk. John tried to resist, but he was less than 140 pounds, and next to David’s bulk of more than 200 he stood little chance as this powerful man forced his way in, slowly and painfully and in silence, without a condom or lubricant.

John was only 17 years old.

Then, one morning around 6 a.m., while out on the yard for recreation, John says he saw David receive a mesh laundry bag from a prisoner he didn’t know. He could see that it contained meat sticks and bags of chips. These kinds of exchanges were common; he figured the other prisoner might be trading the food for the use of his cell as a quiet place for tattooing or some other illicit activity…

That afternoon, John returned to his “house”… His cellmate was in bed. Feeling greasy after his kitchen shift, John started to undress so he could take a shower. As he took off his pants, he saw the mesh bag of food. He looked over and realized the man in the bed was not David. It was the prisoner who had handed over the bag of food.

Wielding an unchecked national evil to attack gay marriage, Carson is quite disgusting. Either that, or I’m ignoring the good that incarceration usually does for peoples’ sex lives. Maybe it’s time we applauded the way our corrections system allows young men to explore their sexuality. And if prison is what a defenseless teenager needs, then I’m all for it. Next up on Hot In America: Dr. Ben cites a few out-of-prison rape statistics and then wonders if the female libido has run amok. I can’t really say I’m all fired-up on the ‘morals’ end of Carson’s superstar campaign, though. As for that gotcha he delivered with, “So, did something happen while they were in there?”:

Although he is still attracted to women, John has a hard time imagining how he’ll form new romantic relationships. He still has flashbacks and nightmares—common symptoms of post-traumatic stress among rape victims, in prison or out—which are sometimes spurred by tiny details: the smell of saliva or shower mold, the feel of tiles like the ones his face was pressed into, a breeze that mimics the breath of an attacker on his neck.

.

Share

The mystification of McArdle

…slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe – am I right?

Megan McArdle writes perhaps the most mind-numbing missive of her magnificent career. It’s about evolution, of course, because science and math are to Megan what hobnail boots are to dandelions.

I know what you are going to say: We need to know if he [Scott Walker] thinks scientifically or submits reason to theology! I don’t think this actually tells us any such thing.

The god-botherers think evolution is a game of cups and balls, but when they tell you as much it doesn’t really mean anything. Except, obviously it does. It says quite a bit, actually. But I sorta kinda think I know what you’re getting at…except for no, I have no idea. I do know that every concrete thing in Megan’s world is fraught with angles and shadows. Because…who knows?

I was at a dinner the other night where the very high percentage of Americans who believe in young-earth creationism was submitted as evidence of the failure of the U.S. school system. I don’t think that’s right.

Of course it’s right. Why would the religionists be so desperate to abolish evolution from schools otherwise? What would be the point of homeschooling? Megan’s schtick is nothing more than rank gainsaying. And much like your parakeet, if you put up a mirror beside her she’ll break it with her head.

People forget most of what they learn in school almost as soon as they learn it — I got an A in sophomore chemistry, and all I can tell you about it now is that it’s sometimes measured in “moles” and there’s something called a covalent bond that . . . well, actually, I forget.

Education, I mean. Totally useless, am I right? C’mon everybody forgets what they learned in high school ( ‘cept stupid me who remembers what moles and bonds were). I wouldn’t have thought “I’m stupid” to be a persuasive argument. But first, a clarification:

And before you start looking all superior, STEM majors, what is the difference between the conditional and the subjunctive, and can you name four causes of the Thirty Years’ War without resorting to Google?

I, Megan, do remember esoteric bullshit. So don’t fuck with me, plebes! The crossways attitude has got to be some sort of Libertarian thing. Your government schooling could never make me learn anything, but my glorious free will sure as heck did! Let’s fire all the teachers, promote the ditchdiggers and then have McMegan somehow sort it all out. Preferably by getting paid to lounge around the house and tell everybody how wicked stupid/smart she is.

Most of the people who “believe” in evolution don’t have much more scientific foundation for their beliefs than a young- earth creationist does for theirs.

Do most people know about dinosaur bones? Yes. Do young-earthers know about the ‘evidence’ for creationism? No. Because there’s none. What a classic McArglebargle, placing thoroughbreds and unicorns side-by-side. Who’ll win the Kentucky Derby this year? Scientists will pretend to know, but those bastards are always lying.

…I wish [reporters] would spend equal time asking Democrats questions that force them to choose between their base and independent voters, such as “Is it a good thing that technology and legal abortion now mean that 90 percent of Down syndrome pregnancies are terminated?”

I can’t even. There is something so whacko about this woman. Let’s go to the end:

All that said, these questions will get asked, and if Scott Walker wants to be president, then he needs to have better answers.

Wait – what? This whole screed argues to the contrary from the beginning. But now Megan has changed her mind? She’s completely of the opposite opinion now?

In a country in which these issues are hotly contested, many of these questions are perfectly fair subjects on which the public has the right to know your opinions.

Believe it. And I have a question of my own: What is wrroong with you? McMeg: It’s stupid for people to ask about evolution, because you can’t learn anything from that, and even if you could it’s useless, and school is useless too, and besides people don’t really know anything, although I’m obviously a genius, and I sure wish somebody would ask Democrats horrible questions because, in the end, that’s the way you learn about candidates – by what they say for an answer, because all of us are very smart and like to ask politicians about things. Right, has everybody got all that? Oh absolutely, quite. Any of you perhaps interested in a demonstration? Why of course…WHAT ABOUT EVOLUTION?

Unless McArdle has gone completely bonkers, this is really…something. As if we were watching the different lobes of her brain wrestle like pigeons over a chicken bone. Or like seeing the debut of some form of high falutin’ digital auto-eroticism, to which I say ‘yuck.’

Share

The education of a narcissist

Go Fund My Heart Attack

sheriff mackSmall town Arizona sheriff files a 2nd Amendment lawsuit, hits the jackpot. Founds the Constitutional Sheriffs and Peace Officers Association, becomes a national hero. Gets paid to talk to Fox News, the Oath Keepers, the NRA, and the Tea Party. Demands the government return his income tax:

Return My Money

Yesterday I did my taxes for the year 2008. My wife and I both work and make an average middle class income living paycheck to paycheck. Together, my wife and I paid about $5700 for federal income taxes. We are getting a whopping $870 back. Which means you, the federal government, are keeping $4,800 of our money. My question to each of you is; WHY? Why should I be sending any of our hard earned money to Washington?

Lectures the country on nullification:

The States Can Stop Obama By Sheriff Richard Mack (Ret.)

…That’s right, the individual States can stop “Obamacare” and all other forms of out-of-control federal government mandates and “big brother” tactics. If Arizona, Hawaii, New Hamshire, Texas, etc. want nothing to do with National Healthcare as proposed by Barack Obama or Congress, then all they have to do is say “No!”

Refuses to buy health insurance:

By now we have all heard the cliches and seen the posters from the “Tea Parties” espousing freedom, less government, and perhaps most of all, how the federal government had better back off trying to shove their national healthcare down our otherwise healthy throats.

…so of course he has a devastating heart attack. Just after his poor wife has taken ill. And the unpatriotic turn of events shrivels his balls so alarmingly he can’t even sign off on the Sheriff Mack Go Fund Me campaign to pay his bills.

I am the son of Sheriff Richard Mack. Some of his friends came to me wanting to help my dad by posting the following news description that they wrote:

Every day law enforcement officers put their lives on the line for the rest of us, in their line of duty. Richard did that for 10 years as a police officer and for 8 years as an elected sheriff, and he hasn’t stopped since, working in various ways to serve and protect fellow citizens…

A little over a week ago the heart with which he has given so much to others gave way on him and resulted in a cardiac medical emergency that is ongoing…

Which is a damn shame for sure. You remember when he pretended to be a drug dealer?

sheriff daddy mack

He was the Mack Daddy. Ahh, those were better days.

Share

The amazing courage of Scott Walker

Iowa is where the road to the presidency begins in 2016. It also happens to be the state where Wisconsin governor Scott Walker is currently killing it.

A new poll from Quinnipiac has Gov. Scott Walker (R-Wis.) up by a wide margin in the early caucus state of Iowa… Walker leads his closest competitor (Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky) by 12 points — and his net favorability (those who view him favorably versus those who don’t) is a legitimately stunning +50.

He’s the early front-runner. Which means he might eventually become the Republican candidate, so we better pay him some attention. The Governor spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington D.C. today:

…an audience member asked Walker how he would deal with threats like the Islamic State if he were president.

Which is a good question. I myself don’t have any answers to “What to do about ISIS?” I wouldn’t allow a single American soldier anywhere near them, I know that – we’ve done enough dying for the Middle East Good for awhile. But given the historic evil we’re seeing I understand the temptation to call in the Army. I’m certainly curious to hear how the candidate would deal with a mass-murdering death cult. What about it, Scott?

“I want a commander-in-chief who will do everything in their power to ensure that the threat from radical Islamic terrorists do not wash up on American soil. We will have someone who leads and ultimately will send a message not only that we will protect American soil but do not take this upon freedom-loving people anywhere else in the world,” he responded.

Walker would call in a satellite-guided platitude attack. He’d blow ISIS up with improvised banalities. He would never tolerate ‘threats’ landing on our shores, so you can bet he will ‘send a message.’ Tough talk there, Maddog.

I’d be a little more impressed, Scott, if you didn’t sound like Sybil’s whackier brother. “I want a commander-in-chief who will…”…who will what? Talk about himself in the first person? I don’t think Scott isn’t going to like that (…you could ask Scott). “We will have someone who leads…”…the Capitol loon parade, I suppose? The Bellevue case revue? What about having a leader who talks like the guy from Silence of the Lambs? Now the President of the United States: “Fellow Americans, it talks about Iraq tonight. It sends the 2nd Infantry into Mosul, then it puts some lotion in the basket.” Goodnight, god bless. Could you give us something more along the lines of strategy? Or something less in the first-person abstract?

“We need a leader with that kind of confidence. If I can take on a 100,000 protesters, I can do the same across the world.”

I see now, YOU would like to be commander-in-chief. And since it was YOU who attacked blue collar workers and took away their collective bargaining rights, you think you’re perfect for the job.

What a convincing case you make. Really, how difficult could it be to take on a jihadist army once you’ve stood up to the kindergarten teachers? As if Wisconsin’s janitors were any less dangerous than the religious fanatics who like burn people alive. ISIS controls twenty thousand miles of territory and two billion dollars in oil, banking and infrastructure assets – but you remember all those firefighters? They were organized by LABOR UNIONS. You know, domestic thugs. The kinds of goons you see prowling the sidewalks, all worked up over wages and working conditions. I believe, magister, that you can dismiss the jury – and fire the bailiff – because this case is closed.

He’s the best man for the job. And if any of you tank-driving rocket-firing assholes want a piece of Scott Walker, get ready for another trademark double-fisted helping of…this:

Almost two dozen protesters were arrested and issued $200.05 tickets Wednesday as Capitol Police cracked down on the long-running Solidarity Singalong…

Individuals who began to sing or shout at police were approached by police, asked to leave and arrested if they refused. At one point, a group of senior citizens linked hands and sang “we shall not be moved” before each was arrested.

Damn right. Pack it up, radicals – you’re through.

Share

It’s all over now, Bill O’Reilly

Definitive proof the Fox ‘newsman’ is a Brian-Williams-style liar.

When at first Brian Williams claimed to have been shot down in a helicopter over Iraq, a few people wondered if that were true. Well, it wasn’t. But Brian managed to go on without that fib killing his career. It wasn’t until many years later, after he told the story over and over again, then ultimately recounted it on NBC’s nightly newscast, that the canard did him in.

So a word to the wise: Don’t tell an outrageous lie more than once. It could cost you. Unfortunately this bit of advice comes too late for Williams. He’s gone for now, and someone else has taken his place as news anchor.

As for Bill O’Reilly, he is far above reproach – at least as much as he is above NBC’s liberal anchor. He predictably thought the whole Williams scandal quite unseemly. He commented: Why can’t journalists remember that they’re ultimately responsible to our Founding Fathers?

Reporting the news comes with a big responsibility. The Founding Fathers made that point very clearly. They said to us, we will give you freedom, we will protect you from government intrusion but in return you must be honest…

And why can’t people take their jobs seriously? Why can’t they just tell the truth? You can all rest assured that nobody will ever catch Bill O’Reilly telling lies like Brian Williams.

Here on The Factor we are in our 19th season, an amazing run and we have made some mistakes in the past, but very few. We put together an honest broadcast and we take great pains to present you with information that can be verified.

All Americans who love their country should think about what happened to Brian Williams … to think about other news agencies that are distorting the facts. We all should open that proverbial “Network” window and say, “We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore!”

But. As you probably already know, in the wake of Williams’ suspension Mother Jones has focused its own reporting upon Bill-O. They’ve been looking at his history of telling jaw-dropping stories and seeing whether he’s been telling the truth. And it turns out that O’Reilly is quite a shameless liar. For an overview, see here: The Bill O’Reilly scandal, made simple.

In short, Mother Jones found out that O’Reilly claimed to have reported from a “war zone” while he was only in Buenos Aires, Argentina. This put Bill about 1000 miles short of the military conflict he was ostensibly covering. To counter that assertion of fact, Bill-O has responded with bluster, outrage, threats and bug-eyed sanctimony. Other than typical dudgeon and tantrum, he has yet to offer Mother Jones any relevant facts of his own. Which is pretty damning. That’s not to say folks have been particularly impressed with the O’Reilly expose’. Much of whether he’s a ‘liar’ hangs on how honest he’s expected to be, as well as what the phrase ‘war zone’ constitutes, among other things. It’s perhaps confusing to some.

Well, as of today, the questions about O’Reilly’s lying have been answered. Any previous doubts about his dishonesty are now gone. There’s definitive proof he’s been telling lies as ridiculous as the ones that got Brian Williams fired.

Bill O’Reilly has repeatedly claimed he personally “heard” a shotgun blast that killed a figure in the investigation into President John F. Kennedy’s assassination while reporting for a Dallas television station in 1977.

And he’s told this corker over and over again, the same way Williams told his Iraq howler.

To make a long story shorter, let’s first get through some quick notes on the tale: Who was this assassination figure? His name was George de Mohrenschildt. George was a Russian who in the sixties befriended Lee Harvey Oswald. What happened to him? When the House Select Committee on Assassinations contacted George about testifying on Oswald and the Kennedy assassination, he killed himself. This was at his daughter’s home in Florida in March of 1977. What did O’Reilly claim? That as a reporter for a Dallas TV station, WFAA, Bill was hot on the heels of the mysterious de Mohrenschildt, tracking him to his daughter’s house in Florida. And when O’Reilly knocked on the house’s door, he heard the Russian shoot himself. Bill has made this specific claim again and again:

In his 2012 best-selling non-fiction book Killing Kennedy, O’Reilly writes on page 300 that as a “reporter knocked on the door of de Mohrenschildt’s daughter’s home, he heard the shotgun blast that marked the suicide of the Russian … that reporter’s name is Bill O’Reilly.”

In March of 1977, a young television reporter at WFAA in Dallas began looking in to the Kennedy assassination. As part of his reporting, he sought an interview with the shadowy Russian professor who had befriended the Oswalds upon their arrival in Dallas in 1962. The reporter traced George de Mohrenschildt to Palm Springs, Florida and traveled there to confront him. At the time, de Mohrenschildt had been called to testify before a congressional committee looking in to the events of November, 1963. As the reporter knocked on the door of de Mohrenschildt’s daughter’s home, he heard the shotgun blast that marked the suicide of the Russian, assuring that his relationship with Lee Harvey Oswald would never be fully understood.

By the way, that reporter’s name is Bill O’Reilly.

O’Reilly repeated the tale for the Killing Kennedy audiobook.

He also wrote in Kennedy’s Last Days, the 2013 adaption of Killing Kennedy for younger readers: “As I knocked on the door, I heard a shotgun blast. He had killed himself.”

The Fox News host repeated the tale while promoting his book and movie special on Fox News. During an October 2, 2012, appearance on Fox & Friends, O’Reilly claimed he “was about to knock on the door where [de Mohrenschildt] was, his daughter’s house, and he blew his brains out with a shotgun.” O’Reilly replayed the clip of his 2012 appearance during a November 30, 2014, O’Reilly Factor special before Fox News’ airing of the Killing Kennedy film.

But the whole thing is a lie. Why? And how can we be so sure? Because O’Reilly was in Texas at the time. Nowhere near Florida. And the ironclad evidence for that comes from a Dallas reporter who would be in a position to know.

By the way, that reporter’s name is Bill O’Reilly…

Gaeton Fonzi, as the New York Times wrote in a 2012 obituary, was “one of the most relentless investigators on the House Select Committee on Assassinations” regarding Kennedy’s death. Fonzi’s memoir and personal recordings show that O’Reilly could not have been in Florida at the time of de Mohrenschildt’s death.

As Jefferson Morley noted, Fonzi wrote in his 1993 autobiography that O’Reilly called him to confirm that de Mohrenschildt committed suicide.

About 6:30 that evening I received a call from Bill O’Reilly, a friend who was then a television reporter in Dallas. ‘Funny thing happened,’ he [O'Reilly] said. ‘We just aired a story that come over the wire about a Dutch journalist saying the Assassinations Committee has finally located de Mohrenschildt in South Florida. Now de Mohrenschildt’s attorney, a guy named Pat Russell, he calls and says de Mohrenschildt committed suicide this afternoon. Is that true?’

Now why would Fonzi write that his Dallas buddy had called him to confirm de Mohrenschildt’s suicide when Bill-O had been right there on the doorstep when it happened? Why would an ear-witness to the event fly back to Texas and then call a third party to ask if the suicide claim were true? It’s obvious why. O’Reilly was never there.

Morley also obtained phone conversations between Fonzi and O’Reilly on March 29, 1977, from Fonzi’s widow which the former Post editor says show that O’Reilly “certainly did not hear de Mohrenschildt’s demise with his own ears. When the fatal shot rang out, O’Reilly was in his office at the WFAA studios in Dallas, Texas, more than 1,200 miles away. The confirmation comes from O’Reilly himself.”

Bill O’Reilly inserting himself into Kennedy history doesn’t even make any journalistic sense. He was only a local Dallas TV guy at the time, not an investigative reporter for CBS’ 60 Minutes. Or PBS’ Frontline. Why would his outlet, WFAA, be interested in blowing all that money to send a local reporter to Florida just so he can chase a conspiracy theory? And I have no doubt, if he’d actually heard de Mohrenschildt’s shotgun blast, that law-and-order O’Reilly would have immediately called the cops himself. He’d surely have then followed up the 9-1-1 call with some live on-scene coverage, Fox-style (…speaking to the camera crew that the station never sent with him, of course…) recounting the Kennedy conspirator’s dramatic suicide – a desperate last attempt to dodge the questioning of WFAA’s bulldog reporter. But O’Reilly was never in the police report:

The Associated Press’ March 30, 1977, report about de Mohrenschildt’s suicide quoted Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Lt. Richard Sheets stating of the death: “At the time of the shooting, he was alone in the house except for two maids who said they did not hear the shot.” The AP report, obtained via the Nexis database, makes no mention of O’Reilly’s alleged presence outside the home.

As if it ever could have been possible. The idea is laughable, and the truth revealed to no one’s shock or surprise. Bill O’Reilly has always been a tawdry fabulist, agent of rank bullshit, and stone-faced liar. But I don’t hold any hope that his bosses will be concerned by the revelations. As Rupert Murdoch’s conception of ‘truth’ runs to propaganda, they’ll be hard-pressed to find any reason to fire him. And so he’ll go on plying his viewers with more of his Reporter Man tales – though I’d like to think he’d be met with some sensible hooting and derision from now on. Maybe then the idea of O’Reilly as an honest man will become a Brian-Williams style joke outside the realm of Fox News, Inc.

Share

Where I am moved to call someone buttface

A particularly beneficent blogger at American Thinker offers us all a choice. How nice of him, really. I do like choices.

Would you allow yourself to be groped to fight global warming?
By Pedro Gonzales

It’s an easy choice–let yourself be repeatedly sexually groped by a pervert, or accept the consequences of global warming. Which would you choose?

…those two options weren’t really on my radar tonight, Saturday evening. I was thinking more like ‘ale’ or ‘pilsner’, which are frankly both to my tastes. Anyway, how did we get here? And why is it I either take a thumb up the ass, or fry like Bill Buckley’s balls in Lucifer’s cupped embrace?

More than one in five Metro passengers were subjected to unwanted sexual advances or behavior while riding Metro trains and buses in Los Angeles County during the first half of 2014, according to a new survey.

Tee-hee, caution. Laaaaffffs ahead!

I so admire the liberals who do their duty every day, squeezing into those tightly filled buses like sardines in a can, letting themselves be leered at and squeezed and touched, all so the rest of us can live in a better environment.

This is what makes for comedy over there. The rancid sneer. Derision ha ha, whoopee. But there’s also…fucking brilliance, see?

Listen closely: if you have too many cars, and too few highways… create more highways! Check out the map below. The city should use eminent domain to take the land, and turn it over to private developers who will pay to build it in return for charging tolls on the new roads.

And this genius slapdashes 10 freeways across the map of L.A., all of them ending in downtown (which is the secret place all Angelenos want to go). This would only wipe out a few thousand homes, and the city’s budget for the next millennium or so, as well as pave over Hancock Park, Encino, and Griffith Park. And after the 50 or so years of lawsuits and wholesale demolition it would take, not to mention the rioting and homelessness, the city would hand all that real estate over to private contractors. Just so we could pay them tolls, to drive over our former homes. This is clearly a cracking idea, Grommit. And not at all the prospective work of a sociopath…

But since my suggestions will be ignored and nothing will be done, I salute liberals who continue to let themselves be fondled as part of their civic duty

…and by that I mean: fuck you, buttface.

Share

The jokes…they tell themselves.

The truth is controversial. None more so than when cadging a column from the New York Post.

So Brian Williams goes out (for six months) humiliated and derided. Jon Stewart goes out (permanently, one hopes) the same day, but on a giant Comedy Homecoming King float, with a 21-gun salute from the media, his path strewn with roses and teardrops.

Why? Brian Williams lied about his personal exploits a few times. Jon Stewart was unabashedly and habitually dishonest.

Maybe it slipped your notice, but media watchers like Kyle here have cringed at Jon Stewart’s telecasts for years. On a nightly basis he’d say all sorts of crap that wasn’t true.

Though Stewart has often claimed he does a “fake news show,” “The Daily Show” isn’t that. It’s a real news show punctuated with puns, jokes, asides and the occasional moment of staged sanctimony.

Except for when it regularly went off the air a couple weeks at a time, or longer, and though it never bothered with the day’s events, preferring to dish on politics by way of puns, jokes, asides and ham-handed sanctimony, The Daily Show was really the news. And God bless Rush Limbaugh, who is really the Library of Congress.

Most other journalists aren’t allowed to swear or to slam powerful figures (lest they be denied chances to interview them in future). Their editors make them tone down their opinions and cloak them behind weasel words like “critics say”… Yet Stewart uses his funnyman status as a license to dispense with even the most minimal journalistic standards.

It’s not often a piece ostensibly sorting the realities of modern media runs headlong down a rational dead-end. “[S]tewart uses his funnyman status as a license to dispense with even the most minimal journalistic standards.” Likewise, Andrew Dice Clay uses his funnyman status to dispense with Mother Goose’s most minimal narrative standards. You see the problem.

Get both sides of the story? Hey, I’m just a comedian, man. Try to be responsible about what the real issues are? Dude, that’s too heavy, we just want to set up the next d- -k joke.

Damn right here come the dick jokes Kyle. Those alone should have set you, or at least a sane person, straight. By the way just when were you convinced you had any grasp of comedy? Why do you wingnuts even pretend? Does it have the slightest to do with high-profile embarrassment?

Moore introduced House Bill 365, that would “expand indecent exposure law to include any nipple exposure, including men’s, and any garment that ‘gives the appearance or simulates’ a person’s buttocks, genitals, pelvic area or female nipple,” according to an Associated Press story that appeared in the Billings Gazette…

“Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway,” Moore said after the hearing.

That’s Moore’s Montana House Bill 365. It’s still currently set to be the law of the land now rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. But now that Moore’s been widely ridiculed…

…the Republican says it was just one big joke.

Right, surely. The legislature is a comedy club. And down in South Carolina, state senator Tom Corbin addressed his colleague, the only female state senator, Katrina Shealy at a bigwig’s dinner.

…Corbin made a pair of comments…starting with the bizarre remark, “I see it only took me two years to get you wearing shoes.”

Apparently, this was another reference to Corbin’s view that the proper place for women is “barefoot and pregnant”…

Corbin replied with what he later characterized as a “joke.”

She asked Corbin why she, apart from all the other senators, should remain barefoot and pregnant. And that’s when the ‘jokes’ just got funnier:

“Well, you know God created man first,” Corbin told his colleague. “Then he took the rib out of man to make woman. And you know, a rib is a lesser cut of meat.”

Corbin later told a local TV station that he meant no offense.

“We were all joking and laughing,” said Corbin.

Everybody was joking and laughing – except for the target of his ‘ribbing’, who was a humorless bitch. It’s always the liberals who have take everything in life SO seriously.

Share

Writes about science. But he’s Jonah Goldberg.

Apparently the wingers have themselves something of a Golden Boy in Wisconsin governor Scott Walker. He’s their current presidential dream date, what with his union-busting, and indictment-dodging and the early polls turning his way. I assume that’s why Jonah Goldberg is telling us that his ducking an easy question on EVOLUTION is not particularly important. The issue is something of a red coelacanth, frankly.

But it was also a bad question, even though it’s a favorite among liberal journalists in the U.S., and apparently across the pond, too.

…It’s a pretty stupid issue to get worked up about when considering a presidential candidate. The number of public policies that hinge on whether you believe in evolution — or which theory of evolution you subscribe to — are few to none.

Jonah shows no interest in ‘reality’ I see. Nor is he aware that evolution, unlike some Frito-Lay products, does not come in Flamin’ Hot and Chili Cheeze flavors. So why the hell should a candidate care? Just because a certain thing can explain the existence and diversity of 3.6 billion years of life on Earth is hardly a reason to take note of it. What – do you look up the definition for OXYGEN everyday, or something?

That’s because the evolution question really isn’t about evolution at all. On the surface, it’s about the culture war. To borrow a phrase from the campus left, Darwinism is used to “otherize” certain people of traditional faith — and the politicians who want their vote.

I would say it’s certainly part of the culture war on the right. But it’s not that way for us. We simply would like to know if you know what the fuck is going on. We’re quite interested to see if you’re the sort of person who gives a damn about this world. Because we’ve surely had enough of the rugged individuals who keep burying their heads in The Bible whenever reality comes calling:

Dr. C. Everett Koop, Reagan’s surgeon general, has said that because of “intradepartmental politics” he was cut out of all AIDS discussions for the first five years of the Reagan administration. The reason, he explained, was “because transmission of AIDS was understood to be primarily in the homosexual population and in those who abused intravenous drugs.” The president’s advisers, Koop said, “took the stand, ‘They are only getting what they justly deserve.’”

By the second Reagan administration any sane person could see it was time to hit the panic button. But how did Ronnie and his pals respond to the epidemic? By doling out political handjobs and steely public righteousness:

A significant source of Reagan’s support came from the newly identified religious right and the Moral Majority, a political-action group founded by the Rev. Jerry Falwell. AIDS became the tool, and gay men the target, for the politics of fear, hate and discrimination. Falwell said “AIDS is the wrath of God upon homosexuals.” Reagan’s communications director Pat Buchanan argued that AIDS is “nature’s revenge on gay men.”

With each passing month, death and suffering increased at a frightening rate…

For all their praying that the epidemic – or homosexuality – would go away, it did not. Thousands died and millions ended up infected. So don’t bother asking me not to “otherize” Christians with questions about reality. Science happens to line up fairly close with Facts. In fact, that’s its job.

As for Goldberg, he’d have you know that liberals are no better on the general subject:

As my National Review colleague Kevin Williamson notes, “Everybody wants to know what Scott Walker and Sarah Palin think about evolution, but almost nobody is asking what Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama think about homeopathy, acupuncture, aromatherapy and the like.” Even though such remedies have been given elevated legitimacy under the Affordable Care Act.

Yes of course. Insisting that the Earth is five thousand years old is as stupid as burning candles.

Many of the same people who bleat with fear over the dangers of genetically modified food, fracking, vaccines or nuclear power and coo with childlike awe over the benefits of non-traditional medicines will nonetheless tell you they are for “science” when in fact they are simply against a certain kind of Christian having any say about anything.

Though scientists have all sorts of reservations about genetically modified food, nuclear power and fracking, it’s hypocritical for liberals to feel the same way. Beyond being two-faced, those people are “simply against a certain kind of Christian having any say about anything.” Strictly for argument’s sake, let’s assume that Jonah’s final dagger there could be honed with a Nyah-Nyah, or some Pbbbt.

Share

Forty is the new curmudgeon

In utterly inconsequential news…

Former Saturday Night Live cast member and Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo star Rob Schneider left an angry message on a California lawmaker’s voice mail this week saying that he would do everything in his power to unseat her in the next election.

They say you dance with the devil when you’ve got Rob Schneider on the phone.

Gonzalez said on Facebook earlier this week, “(W)e received a phone call from Rob Schneider today where he threatened my staff that he would spend a lot of money against me because of my co-authorship of a bill to increase vaccine rates.”

Poking needles into the defenseless flesh of children is a crime against humanity, as much so as any feature film in which Rob Schneider plays a part.

She continued, “…that is 20 mins of my life I’ll never get back arguing that vaccines don’t cause autism with Deuce Bigalow, male gigolo.”

Think of that Saturday Night Live cast from around 1990. And then wonder: Where did it all go wrong? Was it something in the cocaine? There’s Schneider of course, but then there’s Dennis Miller.

Yesterday recalcitrant old man Dick Cheney went on Dennis Miller’s radio show, which evidently exists. Miller, in a fit of giggles, thanks Cheney for “almost kicking Patrick Leahy’s ass. I love that move.” It’s “one of my favorite stories,” he gushed, referring to a 2004 incident in which Cheney yelled at Senator Leahy (D-VT) for the latter’s “criticism of the vice president for Halliburton’s alleged war profiteering,” according to CNN.

And Jon Lovitz.

SNL alum on Obama: ‘What a f**king asshole’

…“First they say … ‘You can do anything you want. Go for it.’ So then you go for it, and then you make it, and everyone’s like, ‘Fuck you,’” Lovitz said. “[Obama] is the perfect example. He’s amazing. He had nothing … and the guy ends up being at Harvard. He’s the president of the United States. And now he’s like, ‘Fuck me and everybody who made it like me.’”

And then Victoria Jackson, who ended up a far cry from the sophisticate she portrayed so convincingly in those skits.

“He released terrorists from Gitmo, that our sons and daughters died to capture. Am I dreaming? His Cabinet is made up of Muslim Brotherhood people…”

So we wish you all well, Saturday Night Live. Happy fortieth birthday assholes. Fox News has itself one helluva high-profile farm team.

ADD: I forgot…

And best of all, Adam Sandler is a registered Republican who has made numerous donations to Republican candidates. In 2008 he donated $2100 to New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s 2008 failed Republican Presidential primary campaign.

In 2004 Sandler proved his Hollywood Republican credentials by performing at the Republican National Convention in New York.

That’s about half of the cast. Who’s left, David Spade?

Share
Previous - Next